Changes Must Be Imposed

Less than a week before the Korea trip,

and our funds are running dangerously low. Again.

I can't fucking believe it. 

Yea sure, this month has been a little expense-crazy,

with payments due for insurance premiums, Zakat, income tax, the fucking art class. 

But if she hadn't continued to spend a fuckton of money AGAIN,

like she'd been doing for every month over the past fucking year, 

we wouldn't be in this situation. 

Either two or three months ago,

I specifically told her that we needed to cut back. 

We examined our spending,

and turns out she'd been overspending on little conveniences. 

Things like taxis almost every day, 

expensive vitamins that I've said I do not want, 

expensive food ingredients because she just felt like cooking unique things on that day.

Why can't we do shit like this in MODERATION. 

We're only a family of three,

and each month she spends more than my entire monthly salary 

back when I was in tech support. 

It is absolutely fucking insane. 

Like she doesn't get the concept of money no longer being there after you've spent it. 

She keeps doing it.

Non-stop.

Over and over and over and over and over again.

It's my fault as well. 

I should've been more firm, 

imposed proper controls ages ago. 

So this is on me. 

I can also see that I cannot rely on her to spend responsibly.

She is incapable of it. 

If I were to suddenly lose my job today (which has happened in the past),

there is a big chance we might go homeless. 

We're one moderate medical emergency from being financially ruined. 

I don't get what the fuck is wrong with her. 

Like she only thinks and cares about what happens in the fucking moment. 

Like she does not give a shit what happens to our daughter,

her mom,

me, 

even herself in the future. 

She wants to do something today.

So she'll do it,

regardless of the consequences of doing that exact thing. 

And now,

NOW our budget is shot to hell. 

How the fuck am I supposed to pay for the car rental in Korea?

We're gonna have to deal with the fucking slimy taxi drivers,

or squeeze with everyone on the trains and buses. 

Our daughter will be exhausted and I'll be frustrated.

And worse of all?

She'll be frustrated as well. 

And letting her know what got us to this point won't do a goddamn thing.

She'll forget.

And do it again.

And again.

I have to control how she spends our money now.

Was really hoping to avoid this.

Was desperately hoping that she could act responsibly. 

But nope. 

Now we can't give her mom any money when we leave.

What the fuck was the point of getting her the gold bar, then?

It was meant to be a present that was complemented by a thousand or two dollars

that I wanted to leave her. 

But we can't. 

So now it'll appear in poor taste,

since she herself is in a bad state and is worried about money. 

I cannot fucking believe I let myself reach this point. 

Should've stepped in sooner. 

Fuck. 

And what are we going to do in Korea anyway?

Just sit on our asses, that's what. 

Fuck it. 

I hate that our daughter will have to go through that, 

but even if my wife can't learn,

won't learn,

we still have to face the consequences. 

And once we're back in Singapore,

forget about getting cats, 

or a car,

or any other new thing. 

None of that. 

Not a single fucking thing. 

First, I'll lower the amount she gets for the food each month.

Then if she still runs out,

I will give her the money every week instead. 

If it still doesn't work,

I'll have to buy the groceries myself. 

She can share what she wants, 

and I can decide if we get it or not. 

And outside of work

and presents for friends birthdays (there's only three left in the year),

we won't spend a single extra fucking cent. 

I'm seriously considering not getting a single fucking thing 

for my sister's wedding. 

She'll complain of course.

Get upset. 

But I'll be damned if I allow her to

put us at risk of being homeless by catering to her whims every day. 

Fuck that shit. 

Man, I cannot believe I am earning the most I've ever earned in my life,

and above-average amount each month,

and yet it's being pissed away 

on shit that doesn't event last.

We're not even talking about expensive jewellery 

or clothes or things like that. 

Stupid little temporary things that

we can't even touch after a day or two. 

Like spending money on "premium air". 

And yea I know... I fucking know...

car rental,

taxis,

being able to fly to Korea...

all of those are luxuries. 

Fucked up thing is, 

we would absolutely be able to afford all that

and STILL save a lot. 

But she keeps spending and spending and spending. 

She cannot stop.

And I'm fucking tired of it. 

Exhausted. 

What the fuck is wrong with her?

Eh you know what?

Fuck it.

I've already got a plan,

so I just have to stick with it and hope it works. 

Fuck.

I was hoping to use the vacation to recharge,

take a proper break from work,

get back to where I was before the 3-year mad daily rush. 

But I can't now.

I fucking can't. 

I have to worry about money.

Because she had to have fucking fancy bread and expensive chicken

and other fucking expensive ingredients,

along with bullshit little things she orders from Amazon and Lazada and Shopee. 

No I cannot relax. 

I can't.

No, I have to slog through Korea first. 

Worry about how we're going to save money each fucking day during and after we've returned.

She'll probably say she cares,

but would use up our life savings in an instant if she were given the chance. 

Fuck this shit.

Let's get through it and see what happens. 

Well enough of that. 

Preventive Measures

She fucking did it again.

On the morning of Eid Fitri, 

I woke up to a charge of almost a hundred bucks on my credit card. 

Vitamins and shit including for me,

which I'd specifically told her not to get. 

And the weekend before,

she'd spent almost $200 on a trip to the movies with my daughter.

Motherfucker what the hell?

This was after we'd spent almost A THOUSAND BUCKS on 

my daughter's art class. 

We discussed this.

Agreed to cut down on the spending for this month. 

And one week later,

what the fuck does she do?

I don't know if it's apathy or narcissism or ignorance or something else. 

Words don't seem to work on her,

and I'm exhausted. 

I'll have to treat her like a little kid. 

She'll probably get upset about it,

won't understand why...

which, when you think about it, would be fucking ironic. 

I've told her already that she's not to use my card

for the rest of this month.

We've only got a week left, 

but we'll see. 

And if she pulls this kind of shit again,

especially within the month,

then I'll begin removing my credit card 

from one of her apps. 

And the time she does it after that?

Another app. 

Until there's none left,

not even for cabs. 

I was really hoping to avoid this shit. 

Once you cross this line,

it's hard to go back, you know?

But she does not seem to grasp the importance of saving,

or spending within your means,

or hell, 

even the fact that once you spend money,

guess what??

IT'S GONE.

MONEY SPENT. THEN NO MORE MONEY. 

Fucking hell. 

It always vexed me to not figure out the next steps. 

And when I did,

made me concerned about the long-term implications. 

But looks like I've got little choice.

Words don't work.

Agreements don't work. 

If I don't stop this,

if an emergency happens,

we'd be in deep trouble. 

I'm earning the most I've ever earned in my life...

and we're practically living paycheck to paycheck. 

It's fucking insanity. 

She doesn't even have any savings. 

None.

What the fuck is this obsession with emptying 

her goddamn bank account every month?

Anyway, 

this is what needs to happen. 

Fuck. 

Well enough of that. 

Over and Done With

Well this fucking sucks. 

I'm struggling to find the words, 

to get through how severely pissed off I am,

how annoying it is, 

how depressing it is. 

Ah fuck it, 

I'll just come out and say it. 

I won't be renting a car in Korea. 

Yep. 

That's it, yes!

That's what I'm bitching about, you're goddamn right. 

I'm going to be 42, soon.

I'll probably never get a car.

Probably never drive properly again.

Oh yes,

maybe I'll get to try on occasion.

Like a fucking child gets an ice-cream cone from time to time. 

I'm not gonna go over this whole thing in detail again,

about how expensive and time-consuming it is to get a motherfucking license in Singapore,

and about how my siblings flat out refused to teach me,

even back when we had a car to use... nope!

They managed to get theirs.

They made it, you see.

So fuck me. 

Finally managed to get it on my own just a few years ago.

They don't know and I don't want them to fucking know.

You know I'd even thought that if I ever get a car,

and they find out,

I'd never let them board it. 

Yea they're family,

and I'll help in other ways. 

But not for this. 

And then came the time to plan for the post-Covid Korea trip.

Hadn't seen the mother-in-law in almost five years?

Man, despite my wife spending money like fish drink water,

I managed to be disciplined enough to save up for not only the trip, 

but also to rent a car for maybe two or three weeks. 

Planned for months. 

Plus, I really fucking hate dealing with greedy-ass, asshole Korean taxi drivers. 

Part of my plan was to also give money to the mother-in-law. 

Of course. 

We have to look after her.

Hell I'd even offered to provide a monthly allowance, which she'd turned down. 

For this trip, 

I was planning to set aside a decent amount for her. 

But for months now.

For fucking months, 

both she and the wife have repeatedly intoned that 

"You don't need to rent a car."

First of all, 

we're going to be there for around 20 days. 

So there will be situations where we won't be able to get a cab,

get ripped off if we do get one,

and unable to take public transport (especially if it's raining and during rush hour). 

Nope. 

Despite my insistence, they kept at it. 

She knew how important this was to me.

She fucking knew it. 

And they both kept repeating it over and over and over again.

I mean, FUCK. 

WHY. 

I work hard for our money.

Why the fuck can't I have this one thing.

Motherfucker, 

I always try to be supportive of their decisions. 

Even when I disagree, 

I won't imply that they're fucking stupid for wanting to do whatever it is that they want. 

But that doesn't apply to me, I guess. 

Fuck me. 

The fucking idiot who wants to waste money.

Never mind that she herself takes cabs in Singapore regularly. 

Never mind the fact that sometimes, 

we get stuck somewhere really inconvenient

because either the fare goes up to astronomical levels,

or cabs just aren't around. 

There will be some mountains we won't be able to explore, in Korea.

Some areas that will be off-limits,

because I just fucking know how difficult it will be to not only get there without a car,

but to get back as well,

and I'll be damned if I'll put our daughter in that situation. 

I actually snapped at one point,

and told her that I'm willing to lose a few hundred bucks to just cancel the trip.

We could go somewhere else.

Either that or I rent the car,

and she and her mom can take a taxi separately.

I'll pay for the fucking thing.

Even the scamming assholes that want to overcharge. 

I'll pay for all that shit. 

And I'll head to the same spot myself in the car.

Of course, OF COURSE she refuses. 

And later,

she came over and said that we could rent a car if I really wanted to. 

FUCK THAT. 

What are my options, really?

To rent a car anyway? As a fucking consolation? 

Despite their telling me repeatedly not to?

Like I'm a fucking kid that was just given permission,

since I was so stubborn and throwing a temper tantrum?

Is that it?

Had to drag them along, 

kicking and screaming?

Oh yea, 

fantastic. 

Like holding an event where people HAD to attend,

groaning the whole time. 

Man was I a fucking dumbass. 

I even planned on sending the mother-in-law to work each early morning. 

Was hoping her colleagues would see her being dropped off,

so it'd raise her status somewhat. 

No need, you moron.

Just spend the money on us. Give us the money. 

You just shut the fuck up. 

And what's the other option?

Once again delay any driving experience I could get,

and yep, 

deal with the fucking taxi drivers 

and other inconvenient transport-related bullshit that we'll undoubtedly come across. 

So I gave in.

I told her fuck it then, 

I won't rent a car. 

Literally said "You guys get what you want."

And that was good enough for her!

Oh man she was happy now. 

Fuck me and what I want.

We'll just go along with whatever the fuck they want to do.

Man, 

if it weren't for my daughter,

who's really looking forward to her first ever proper trip,

which she'll be able to share with her friends...

My response would have been vastly different. 

And somehow, 

I don't think she understands just how different it would have been. 

Even with that in mind,

I've been spending hour after hour today 

oscillating between depression and rage. 

Fuck them. 

Several years later,

scrimping and saving (despite her constant overspending), 

without taking proper leave from work...

And this is what I get?

THIS?

I'm seeing this as an absolute burden. 

Can't wait to get this shit over and done with. 

I'll try to keep up an enthusiastic facade for my daughter,

but I don't foresee us going back to Korea any time soon. 

What a waste of time and money it's going to be. 

Hell, I might even work there instead of going on leave. 

Best to save it up for when I'll be able to spend time along at home in motherfucking Singapore. 

Yep. 

The sooner this is over and done with, the better. 

Well enough of that. 

Not Quite Full-Blown Narcissists

So this is going to be short.

I'm exhausted, man. Perpetually.

Maybe I'm depressed and just don't realise it.

Hell, there's a lot to be depressed about!

From the economic crisis (come on, let the financial crisis begin properly, you greedy fucks!),

including the market crashes, 

to my being tired all the time,

to hell, even my tummy being large again as I struggle to bulk up on muscle

whilst losing fat at the same time.

Worst of all,

I feel like I'm failing my family from a religious standpoint as well. 

Haven't been praying.

And Ramadhan has returned. 

Hopefully I'll be able to kickstart praying regularly again during this month. 

Oh yea, 

almost forgot the reason for the title in the first place.

I've got a client who became a friend,

to the point where we'd visit each other's families and homes.

But over time, 

I tolerate a lot of shit...

Like always making the choice to meet with them 

in the East, 

even though I live far in the West and do not have a car. 

But hey, even though he's a friend,

he's also a client

so I was able to claim for the transportation and meal costs and eh,

when you think of it as work as well,

it doesn't seem so bad. 

Problem started when we'd introduced our families to each other.

He and his wife have got two adorable kids,

who really got along well with my daughter at a time when it was hard for her to make friends. 

They've got a pool at their house, too.

So the kids would really have a ton of fun together whenever they hung out there.

Over time, it became clear that it was always going to be us hanging out over there.

Never at our place. 

Never nearby. 

And yea fine,

I did ask if it was OK,

I'd explained how tough it was for my daughter to make friends...

Man, I thought we'd become close friends. 

Now I can accept constant last-minute cancellations on our individual meet-ups. 

But to cancel on my daughter?

More than once, if I recall. 

Without even bothering to reschedule?

Na man. Fuck that. 

Man she's at the age where she understands rejection. 

I'm really glad she's made a lot of other friends since we last met them, 

so she doesn't feel as alone as she used to. 

I sure as hell am not going to expose her to them again. 

So anyway, 

he's constantly cancelling meet-ups even with another friend of ours. 

We were pretty sick and tired of it,

but had to meet one more time because we'd bought a present for his kid's birthday...

and it was now what, one month? Two? 

Where we hadn't had the chance to pass it to him. 

So fine, 

we started ignoring him in the group chat,

and in the end, 

he seemed to realise something was off,

and we ended up scheduling the dinner tonight.

AT HIS FUCKING PLACE.

AGAIN. 

5PM.

And he and his wife had the fucking nerve 

to try and get me to bring my wife and daughter. 

I declined to bring them,

but figured it'd be good to maybe have one last dinner, you know?

And although he's technically no longer a client,

his new company might need something, so why not?

But just like an hour ago,

his wife actually texted my wife separately,

lamenting how she wished they could come along. 

Un-fuckin-believable. 

Never mind the fact that it's a fucking SUNDAY,

and that my daughter would have to get up early the next morning for school.

OK I gotta calm down a bit. 

Now I don't think they're bad people per se. 

Hell, I don't even think they're full-blown narcissists. 

People SHOULD put their families first. 

But there's no need to treat others like crap, 

and when all the activities revolve around only what's convenient for you...

then it makes you kind of a dick. 

Personally, I don't mind hanging out alone with them.

He was a great client and very helpful. 

But as a friend, 

I'll have to keep my distance for now. 

Maybe he and his wife will change in the future,

but for now I can't take that risk with my daughter. 

Well enough of that. 

Three in a Fucking Month

What the fuck is going on?

This is the third time in a month where I've felt the need to post. 

As much as I'd like to think otherwise (not really),

I make the laborious trek here only when I'm fucking furious. 

When I'm about to break something. Or a few things. 

Motherfucker. 

So what miniscule thing set me off this time?

I'd wanted to visit my little nephew who lives,

literally,

around ten minutes away by car. 

Actually closer, I think.

But yea, they live in the same damn avenue.

Now I don't normally do this,

and hell, I even typically sit out family gatherings or events. 

But eh, they live nearby.

Saw a picture of the baby.

Figured we could at least ask. 

So I checked with her the night before,

and she hesitated and explained that she was waiting for a food delivery.

All right cool. 

No problem.

Next morning,

the delivery arrived earlier than expected. 

The weather was perfect.

Yes!

We can check in with my brother and see if they're home and OK for us to visit!

Nope.

Turns out she just didn't want to. 

I get that she only saw the my sister-in-law and the baby yesterday,

when they went to an aquarium with my daughter. 

But what I fucking hate was how she misled me in the first place,

then flat out said "No" the next day,

basically implying that she'd be miserable if she went along.

And she didn't want to text my sister-in-law.

Me, I would've been fine with asking directly.

If they'd said it wasn't a good time,

then fine, man.

No big deal. 

But this. 

I know... I FUCKING KNOW...

I could've gone without her,

with my daughter. 

But at the moment for some reason, 

it just didn't cross my mind.

Felt like another situation where because she just didn't feel like it,

we had to abide by what she wanted. 

And I don't know.

Just frustrated me. 

I've been pissed the whole fucking day.

Didn't get much done. 

Doesn't really help that the PS4 is loud. AGAIN.

After just four fucking months of getting it fixed for that exact reason. 

That, and a bunch of other shit that's been happening, or... not happening.

Can't take leave due to a last-minute tender invite on motherfucking Christmas Eve. 

Haven't been working out due to my elbow,

which causes my weight to still be over.

And due to that,

I'm too self-conscious to get the red shirt/shoes/watch that I'd been wanting to get for ages.

What else?

Oh yea. 

Haven't even got round to making those comics that I'd wanted.

The designs. 

My daily to-do list isn't even that ambitious. 

But I'm so behind on many things. 

Oh yeah, 

and I can forget about ever getting a car. 

Even if I do get one.

Today.

What's the fucking point?

I already feel like smashing that fictional thing in my mind. 

What is the fucking point. 

And yes. 

I also see the absolute fucking irony of essentially losing my shit...

over such a minor thing. 

All I wanted to do today was just visit my nephew.

And I'm not going to lie.

If it were her nephew, she would've jumped at it. 

I even told her that hell,

if the situation were to be reversed in the future,

I'd say "FUCK NO".

Maybe. Maybe not. 

I wouldn't do it in front of the kid or anything. 

That'd make me a full-blown asshole,

instead of... a half-blown asshole?

And you know what made it worse?

She later thought it was a good idea to go out somewhere. 

I wasn't in the mood at all by that point.

And now that I think about it, 

I hate that she suggested it out loud (hopefully my daughter didn't hear it). 

In the end, 

they left without me, as usual. 

I'm glad at least that someone brought her out. 

-Ah crap.

It's just started raining and I saw them running towards our building. 

I've only got a few minutes if that, 

to smile and pretend it's fine and joke around.

Here they come-

Maybe I'm tired of shit not going my way.

Even little things.

We did visit Sungei Buloh recently and that was my idea. 

I keep looking at the stupid crocodile picture I took. 

That was a good day, I think.

Things need to change. 

But it's fucking hard to do it when you're perpetually pissed and exhausted. 

Well enough of that. 

Happened Again

I cannot believe it happened again. 

About the cross the road, 

I lead the way, and the fucking driver began inching forward as she and our daughter crossed.

Now first of all, fuck that driver.

I wish I could've dragged him out of that car.

A few possibilities ran through my head,

Yea fine, FINE...

the ideal (but not satisfying outcome) was indeed to just let it go. 

What the fuck was I gonna do at the time?

Kick his car?

That's probably a criminal charge.

Tell him to go fuck himself?

Might be a criminal charge (yes, in motherfucking Singapore,

where the rules are such that the peasants can't even curse at each other directly...

which can result in fucking assholes getting their way).

Although, telling him to fuck off... is probably a grey area.

Actually dragging that motherfucking cunt out of his car?

Definitely a charge.

And each one would have resulted in a likely permanent, horrible memory for my daughter. 

So I couldn't do much.

Probably should've told him to fuck off, though.

And if he'd got out of the car to fight?

Well, I could just walk away laughing. 

What the fuck was he gonna do?

But. 

That's what happened. 

There are asshole drivers. 

What really kills me is that it's the second time that she...

for some insane, inexplicable, unexplainable reason...

continued to walk slowly with my daughter,

even as the car inched forward.

WHY. 

She's done this so many goddamn times.

Sometimes I'm rushing across the road due to a possible risk,

and I'd see her just casually strolling. 

Not only does it make me look like an overeager jackass who left his wife behind...

but what IF something did happen. 

WHY, GODDAMMIT. 

And it's one thing to do it alone.

But with our daughter?

I've accepted that from now on if we're together and crossing the road,

I'll have to stop mid-way to ensure they get across first. 

This way I'll be able to hurry her up. 

When a car moves forward,

be prepared to run. 

Doesn't fucking matter if you have the right of way,

and especially not with our daughter in tow. 

I want to say I would've done the same thing,

but realistically,

like a goddamn idiot,

I probably would've stopped and stared at the driver. 

So this was a lesson for me, too. 

However, it doesn't excuse her dragging her feet whenever she crosses the road.

I do not get it.

She gets impatient over other shit.

But cross the road?

Where there's the possibility that she could get hit by a multi-ton vehicle?

EH, LET'S SLOW DOWN AND SMELL THE ROSES

And she wants to visit RUSSIA??

WHAT THE FUCK. 

She herself has expressed concern over the driving there.

You know what I'm most concerned about?

Her happily skipping in slow motion across a busy intersection in Volgograd in slow motion, 

whilst it's being criss-crossed by drunk drivers on New Year's Eve. 

Fucking hell. 

Gonna have to talk to her about this.

She won't be happy about it. 

At all.

Fuck. 

Well enough of that. 

Fucking Hell

Of all the things to happen and piss me the fuck off for two days, 

it had to be a motherfucking Merc driver who didn't want to stop at the traffic light...

whilst she froze like a goddamn deer in headlights, 

hand in held with the little one,

in the middle of the motherfucking street.

I mean yea, 

she was startled and it really, only took like maybe two seconds or so (before I told her to move it). 

The incident itself probably didn't really bother me that much, I think.

Fuck that skinny bitch of a man,

for trying to intimidate us into moving faster across the street.

Fuck the traffic light that took motherfucking ages to change.

Yea the light was red for cars,

but so was the sign for pedestrians.

Others moved across it,

and it was a very narrow street in any case.

And yea, 

we shouldn't have moved at the time,

but knowing the law and how cars always have to yield to pedestrians 

means fuck-all in situations like that. 

It's a combination of things.

The fucking driver.

Especially when he rolled his stupid window down,

revealing his (relatively) young, and yet Skeletor-like body. 

Her taking ages to move across the street,

and then freezing in the middle of it. 

And yea,

my mistake for getting them to cross the street with me

(this is where she waited and fucking waited before moving, so ended up trailing behind). 

Oh and one more thing.

Been spending way too much time on Reddit. 

Should've just flipped the bird

and told him to fuck off.

Instead I... argued with the skinny asshole. 

And even asked him to call the TP (traffic police). 

The fuck?

In hindsight it sounds so stupid. 

Never mind that the guy either looked confused,

or worried that the police might get involved. 

But either way,

it made us both look extra douchey and yea... 

not at all like two middle-aged, male Karens arguing.

PERFECT. 

-Come on, man. I can't even type in peace.

I could lock my door,

but that'd be look like an ass.

And on top of all this, 

we have to get ready for that stupid thing

near Suntec City -

Three more things then I'm done.

Don't like it?

Fuck off. 

So yea,

the idea that I almost lost my temper...

especially with my daughter there. 

At the age of 40 no less.

Makes me extremely disappointed with myself. 

And annoyed.

Very annoyed.

I'd say this time round, 

it was definitely better?

Like in the past,

I might have taken it further

but realised quickly that even if I were in the right

and called the police,

the effect it would have on my daughter 

would've graduated from bad

to core-memory horrible. 

And after walking away from that driver,

yea, 

I tried to rant a little bit. 

Couldn't help myself. 

So I told her that drivers ALWAYS have to give way to pedestrians. 

And... nothing. 

She didn't say a fucking thing.

No support, 

nothing. 

I'm not looking for a fucking medal, here. 

Even a simple "Yea fuck that idiot" would've been enough.

But in public,

she ignored me for that. 

I've defended her before.

Hell, I've done it so many times already. 

And yea,

she might have been annoyed too...

but nothing. 

It's not just that.

She does it with so many other things.

Like she could barely give a shit,

even with things I'm excited about. 

And again,

I FUCKING GET IT. 

It was wrong to act that way

(explained it to my daughter), 

but that bit where she ignored me?

Made me feel even worse. 

-INTERRUPTED AGAIN.

And yes, I should've closed the door.

Or said something. 

And you know what?

Fuck it. 

I'm also gonna add that

when I'm in the middle of texting (often for work),

or typing something,

she expects a response immediately. 

But when she's on the phone,

doing the exact same thing,

or reading an e-book,

she'll ignore you or get extremely annoyed

when you ask her for a response,

even if you needed one immediately-

Anyway, where was I.

Oh yes, ignoring me.

Fucking hell. 

Is this what's called "support"?

Made me feel worse,

from embarrassed to angry. 

Bit my lip and we continued on our way.

When it comes to her,

no way, man.

I'd HAVE to express support (and I'm happy to),

even if she's wrong,

I'd still provide emotional support. 

But when it comes to me?

Fuck no. 

FUCK NO. 

It's usually just "Oh forget it".

Could not give two shits about what I felt. 

My perspective.

Nope.

Like my motherfucking opinion doesn't matter. 

Just shut the fuck up already. 

But remember!

When it's MY thing,

please ensure you provide the adequate amount of support. Yes. 

Oh?

You're upset over something?

Why waste my fucking time?

I've got e-books to read,

shopping to do,

so shut the fuck up. 

Why are you upset?

Shut up. 

Yea. 

She's amazing in so many ways,

but in this particular aspect,

it is fucked up. 

And the final thing that bothered me all the way to this morning. 

Not figuring out the right move for future reference. 

The best option would be to flip the bird and keep walking.

If the guy gets the chance to talk whilst you're moving,

just keep the bird in the air and continue on the way.

Even if he gets out,

keep going. 

They can try me if they want,

but I sure as hell am not catching a charge 

in this stupid-ass country 

where if you had the option to run away like a bitch

(even if it means the aggressor gets a chance to steal 

or wreck your shit and does so, 

where the police will usually do fuck-all 

or it's not worth the effort to get compensation)...

and you didn't,

and chose to defend yourself...

you'd still be found guilty. 

So fuck no. 

I'll flip them off and keep walking,

and they can come at me from behind if they want (shut up),

where I'll then be fully entitled to fight back (of course, fuckin briefly until 

I could get into a position to get away. Fucking hell. I hate this fucking law). 

Immature? Petty?

Sure. 

Avoids more severe problems and escalation?

Doesn't make you feel like shit for not saying anything?

Absolutely. 

Right now it's important not to overthink it,

or I might accidentally end up WANTING to get

into a similar situation... 

and overreact to it. 

No. 

If it never happens again, great. 

If it does,

flip the bird, and walk away. 

I'm big enough to intimidate most bitches anyhow. 

Well enough of that.