I will get fired.
Not quite sure when. Maybe this month, maybe the next.
But after a pleasant exchange
with the CEO yesterday morning during the sales meeting,
I am left with very little doubt that it will happen.
Oh don't worry,
I'll be talking more about that meeting further below.
What's that?
You weren't worried? Seriously?
Oh thank GOD!!!
Now go fuck yourself.
Yep. There we go...
Jenia's PR application is in August.
So the plan for now is to keep my head low,
and stay in this gig long enough to get that letter
which verifies my employment.
My plan is to last long enough until the end of August.
I've already begun searching for new gigs.
And the most depressing aspect about it?
After about two weeks, I only have a SINGLE phone interview.
Not even the actual interview, by the way.
Just the initial screening call.
I have about 4 years' worth of sales experience.
And not a single call-back?
Not a single goddamn interview?
All this while, my former White and Chinese colleagues
and friends continue to get offers and go from job to job...
LinkedIn titles changing after just a few months or so.
That fast.
So easy.
So easy compared to how guys like me have it.
Now don't get me wrong,
I'm not saying racism isn't the ONLY aspect.
But to not even get an interview?
Sometimes despite having more experience.
To not even be given a change?
Nope. Racism is the only issue.
But it's a big motherfucking thing.
A level playing field. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently if your skin tone is not the right shade,
then it is.
Fuck them.
I've come this far.
I'll keep moving.
Hell, all I need is one interview.
So back to that early morning meeting.
Ever since I've joined - and I had a feeling this would happen-
my director and the CEO have contradicted themselves a few times.
Now I'm not talking about minor things
like saying they don't like cocks up the ass,
while visiting the Cock-Up-Ass club on a regular basis.
Nope (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Major things.
At least to me.
Such as sales updates.
In fact, I distinctly remember the CEO saying how it would be a waste of time
to keep updating him on the status of opportunities,
thus giving the impression that you're free to close the deals any which way you choose...
as long as the deals close.
But nope.
Nearly every time there is a sales meeting,
he's always grilling us on minute details.
Which brings me to one of the most annoying aspects.
Straight up pisses me off sometimes.
Asking about minute details of the opportunities slated
for discussion is one thing.
Asking for minute details of loosely-related things ('Tell me all about that proposal you wrote 4 months ago! WHAT? You don't know EVERY single thing listed in there? WHY DON'T YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW??') is a whole other motherfucking thing.
Saw him grill a colleague of mine and made him look downright incompetent.
Seriously?
Just because the guy has a different approach?
THE OBJECTIVE IS THE SAME.
You would think a CEO would know there's more than one way to skin a tiger.
But nope.
Dumbass peppers insults along with what he thinks is valuable 'advice'.
This kind of approach has got me on edge.
There's almost no way of actually preparing.
You could prepare as much detail as you want on your existing opportunities.
But you never know when he might make a demand for details on something you did MONTHS ago.
These past few months,
I've noticed myself become more timid...
become less inclined to speak up.
It's made me nervous.
I fucking hate it.
Something has to give.
At the same time,
I do have immense respect for director,
though of course he does have his flaws.
He is an excellent Account Manager.
But as a manager, maybe not so much. He's too focused,
and his view sometimes becomes myopic.
We normally have to end up doing things his way.
But he does not try to intimidate you.
Tries very, very hard to motivate and mentor.
Gave me a shot when he had absolutely no reason to.
So there is another part to my plan.
While searching for another gig,
I will give my best and close the 3 large deals I have in my pipeline.
When I leave, I will leave with a bang.
Well enough of that
