It's 6.18pm, and I'm still in the office.
Not that I'm working on anything particularly urgent.
Must admit, I'm a little depressed.
And paranoid.
Saw the director in a meeting room with someone,
and for some reason,
I immediately assumed he was interviewing someone for my position.
Now here's the thing.
They would be TOTALLY justified in replacing me.
Sure, their processes are crap,
and it's extremely hard to get familiar with them.
On top of that, I had zero experience in Enterprise Sales when I joined.
That means another layer of knowledge for me to push through in order to succeed.
And the most frustrating part,
is that for me, for some fucked up reason, it is extremely hard.
No matter how much I've learned,
and continue to learn,
I still feel lost in a thick forest,
with the main road barely visible and flickering in the distance.
I need to get to that road.
But every step I take doesn't seem to bring me much closer to it.
There is a little bit of progress. But I fear it may not be enough to head off getting laid off.
That last bit was pretty clever of me, right?
What?
Well fuck you.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yea, they'd be totally justified in getting rid of me.
After all, I'd made a promise to hit the ground running.
8 months later and I've barely made any progress.
But I need the money. We need the money.
I've barely started researching game designs.
And this is my sole source of income. Without it, we're screwed.
So this is where I am.
Future looks bleak.
But if I'm going out,
I'm going with a bang.
You can get your ass I'll at least close a $200K deal before I leave.
May not seem much, but that's my target.
And when I'm gone,
who knows, things might actually get better.
After all, I thought the gig I had at Service Source was great.
And when I left, it crushed me.
I honestly believed there was a strong chance of my being destined from then onward,
to work low-paying, craptastic jobs with very little hope of advancement (it is Singapore, after all).
And here I am.
May not be perfect, but it is one hell of an improvement.
So yeah.
Time to dig in.
Well enough of that
