Sunday, and I feel weird.
Unpleasant.
Not sure if I'm about to fall sick,
or getting better.
So yeah,
it's official.
My Team Leader is trying to get rid of me.
Or at least fuck my career up.
Same thing, the way I see it.
Why can't I just work in place
and not have to deal with all this political bullshit?
Could be the colour of my skin.
I'm considered 'Malay', and she's a Chinese from Malaysia,
working in Singapore.
In fact,
all but one of my team members are Malaysian.
Maybe she just wants to push Malaysians,
especially my Chinese Malaysian teammate instead of me.
Well that's one theory.
Maybe she just hates my guts for some other reason.
I don't give a shit.
I can deal with the little things;
being excluded from unofficial group meetings,
snide remarks, etc.
But when you send a nasty e-mail to my (our) boss,
calling me 'lazy' and 'rude'...
When you do it just before my review date,
you pretty much announce your intentions.
I'm done. Fuck it.
I tried talking with my boss,
but he's a pretty busy dude,
and just brushed it off.
Well it bothers me a lot
that he doesn't see a pattern.
A gradual build-up.
One bad review is all you need to fuck your progression up
in the company for years.
So yeah,
I'm done with this shit.
There's an opening in Australia,
for a gig with more responsibilities.
Oh yeah,
and it would pay at least double what I'm making now.
I've got a pretty good shot at landing it.
It would be a huge move, of course.
That is, IF I got the offer.
My first ever flight was to Macau a few weeks ago for the weekend.
So many things to consider.
Probably will stick out like a sore thumb (really? who the fuck notices an actual sore thumb anyway?).
I don't drink,
I don't smoke.
The way I dance makes a jumping rabid chicken on crack look graceful.
Then I got to thinking about what I'd be leaving behind.
Not really too close with my family.
No close friends.
I hang out night after night at home.
Rarely get invited to events.
Shit, I sound fucking emo.
Goddammit, I AM emo.
Fuck Singapore. Fuck Singaporeans.
Yep.
I won't be leaving much behind,
just an empty room.
Plus, maybe the change of scenery would do me good.
Or drive me batshit crazy.
Either one's fine with me.
Getting ahead of myself right now.
If anything's gonna happen,
it'll only take place a month or two from now.
Another week tomorrow.
But I'm seeing things differently now.
Well enough of that
