Breakneck Speed

There are so many things I'd like to write about,
but I'm being bombarded for attention by my daughter,
and HR at work,
whilst trying to finish a goddamn proposal.

I'll have to keep this quick.
First of all, this motherfucking case in Singapore:
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/man-fined-for-pushing-colleague-in-self-defence-causing-victim-to-fracture

Man is convicted of...  basically defending himself, from what I can see.
But hey, HEY, don't take my work for it!
Read the article.

His colleague fucking ATTACKS him...
was throwing goddamn punches...
and all he did was push back.

That guy fell,
fractured his skull
and passed away.

And THIS guy gets convicted?
FUCKING WHY.

Someone said
that Singapore's law around self-defence
basically indicates that if you have a chance to run away,
and don't,
and choose to defend yourself,
then you'll be on the hook as well.

WHAT.

I mean, is he supposed to
hightail it out of there
and abandon his vehicle?
Would he get fired for it?
Should he have run?
Could he have stepped back and run without getting injured?

It's really fucking easy on hindsight,
but this guy had to process all that shit
WHILE BEING ASSAULTED.

And as the case shows,
something as simple as a shove
can result in a severe,
even fatal injury.

So what,
was he supposed to LET the guy hit him?
Would the government have covered his medical costs?
If he'd lost his job over it,
would it have covered his loss of earnings?
Helped him land a new job?
What if he needed therapy?
What if the assault results in a lifelong disability?

The answer to all of the above is a big fat fucking NO.
In case you were wondering, that is.

And how is this in the public interest?
How does this serve to keep us safer?

This guy lost his job,
and has to pay what is surely to him, a hefty fine.

And for what, exactly?

Well enough of that.

Still Exhausted

The past few weeks have been like a roller coaster,
with deals lost,
emerging new deals,
a ton of proposals,
a trip to Hong Kong.

My mind is exhausted,
and I'm trying to get through to November,
where hopefully things will die down,
and I'll be able to take a breather.

And with my being tired
and not having written anything in a while,
my conversational skills have once again deteriorated.
Goddammit.

It also looks like
I probably won't be able to get my license
in time for Korea in December,
let alone a motherfucking car.

And I haven't been able to work out
due to an old back injury which had probably been aggravated
due to my brilliant idea to trek to the summit of Victoria Peak (from the tram station, not the base, so calm your tits).

Time to power through and close a few deals before I tap out.

Well enough of that.

Tired

I'm so exhausted all the time nowadays.
Missed another gym session,
and had a minor argument with the wife,
so the entire night ended up being unproductive.

And the worst part?
I'll need to hit the gym tonight,
which she'll be upset about.

Goddammit.
There's just so little time for everything.
So little time.

And I still find myself
drifting over to Youtube,
and getting lost in stupid, motherfucking videos until it's time to head back home.

We have a strong chance now to establish
other businesses,
as backups in case something happens to my current role.

But I don't think she actually feels the urgency.
If I were to be let go for whatever reason today,
we'd be pretty much screwed.
And likely, so would her mom.
And possibly my parents further down the road.

I mean holy crap,
I only have around $140 in my savings account right now.
How that doesn't raise alarm bells for her,
I have no idea.

A question from Ragina during lunch
in the meeting room kind of jolted me.
What did I do for leisure?
The first thing that came to mind was...
trying to find ways to make more money.
And the occasional movie when I get the chance...
which is extremely rare.
And the wife doesn't want to watch with me anyway,
preferring her e-books.

Sounds lame,
but I do miss the early days
when we'd watch shows together
and talk about them afterwards.

We couldn't do that
when The Littlest Dictator first arrived, sure.
But we can do that now,
yet, she prefers those books.

Sometimes it feels like she's basically glued to her phone.
Hell, she even ignores my messages sometimes,
preferring to continue reading.

It's like I'm in a maze,
unable to find my way out,
with the Minotaur constantly looking for my ass.

Guess the only thing I can do now
is to restart working out,
and stick with the plan of saving $4K each month until January,
whilst trying out other things on the side to see what sticks.

Well enough of that.

Errors

Barely got any sleep the night before,
and the night before that.

In fact, I haven't been sleeping well for
some time now,
but these past two days have been
worse than usual.

It's definitely affecting me.
I'm looking at recent posts and
other stuff I've written
and can see basic grammatical errors
that annoy the hell out of me.

I mean goddammit,
there's probably a strong chance
there'll be a few in this post as well.

News these days tends to be more negative than usual (or maybe I wasn't paying attention),
and I'm trying to find other sources of income,
having read the headline about a guy who made around a million bucks
in a few years (or less, I don't know).

I can barely motivate myself
to finish a comic,
or complete a design,
let alone do actual work.

It's exhausting.

But I have to keep going.
Time's running out and I have to power through.

Well enough of that.

Love

I've got an important meeting

in four minutes, so this is going to be very short.

This is in fact, more important than any meeting I'll ever have.

I once asked malishka

about what love means to her.

And this adorable 4 year-old,

surprised me with:

"Love is when I play with you".

Concentration Camps

Concentration camps. They're concentration camps where children are being tortured. Some have died.

Here's a fun fact: Anne Frank died in a concentration camp, likely from disease.

Should've taken a page out of Australia's book and placed the camps in an offshore location. Out of sight, out of mind.

Now let's all pat ourselves on the back for being such good, freedom-loving, decent human beings.

https://www.democracynow.org/2019/6/24/somebody_is_going_to_die_lawyer

Everybody who defends, or deflects attention from these camps are vile, disgusting creatures cut from the same cloth as those who lynched innocent men, women, children.

They are not human,

and they cannot be reasoned with,

and must be beaten back with sticks and stones whenever they advance with their fangs out.

But we must be better than them,

and endure their repeated attempts.

We shouldn't be weak.

Every one of their charges needs to be

beaten back with full force.

Once they've retreated back into their holes,

we must stop.

Violence is absolutely a requirement,

but not needless, senseless violence.

Only enough to stop what they're doing.

Let them fester in their pits,

if that's what they want.

Every attempt they make to

hurt others must be repelled.

And if any of them

choose to come over,

to try and learn,

and be compassionate,

find their lost dignity and decency,

then our doors must be open to them.

Regardless of what they've done.

Regardless.

So long as they are still breathing,

we must show them that decency must prevail.

Then there is another way.

We will be disappointed,

outraged,

betrayed.

This is a certainty.

But we must hold fast.

For we are better than these animals.

Well enough of that.

Happiness

It just hit me as I was washing dishes
on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
intermingling with thoughts of going back to Korea,
and the mild frustration with having to come back to Singapore and work.

Happiness is so fleeting.
And I'd read someone say (in an online comment!)
that people experience happiness,
and spend their lives chasing after
the chance to experience something similar or better.
Well something like that.

But the core of the message has stuck with me.

Happiness is fleeting.
You'll always have problems,
things to do,
bills to pay,
responsibilities.

Even with all the money
in the world,
there's no such thing as pure happiness all the time.

Whether it's games or sex or anything else you can think of.
It always ends.

And those who can't accept this,
are doomed to chase after phantoms.

Even if you aren't,
the entire process is a marathon.
I mean, I knew that.
I KNOW that.

But it's always good to remind yourself from time to time.

My OCD has been acting up again,
and I fear that it might influence the little one.

I've decided though,
to take it easy.

Can't pray 5 times a day?
Cut it down first.
Build up the tolerance like a muscle.

Otherwise it all come crumbling down,
and not only will I bring myself to the dirt,
I'll drag my family with me.
Not gonna happen.

Anyway,
looking forward to getting my license,
and driving a tiny-ass car in Korea!
Or maybe a decent-sized car.
Eh, we'll see.

Well enough of that.