I Is Smart

You know how people say that
middle management is usually
made up of dumbasses?

That's because it's TRUE.

How I've avoided punching
each and every one of them in the rectum
with a spiky dildo set on fire...
I do not know.

It's a fucking mystery.

Like my boss, for example.
The one for whom I do most
of the important work...
and get very little credit for.

He's new, but even the one before him
was just as stupid and annoying.


Let's see...
I come up with a suggestion on
how to solve a problem,
or handle a task.

He dismisses it completely.


About an hour or two later,
he comes to me,
with the EXACT same proposal.

After which,
he pats himself on the back for
coming up with such a good idea,
and gives me the proverbial finger
to his head, while exclaiming
"See how smart I am? You should try to be more like me."

Every time this happens,
the image of my hands around his
scrawny neck enters my mind.
And I let it linger.

Sometimes I picture
telling the other prisoners
"Yeah, and when he did it again, I just snapped!"

Goddamn these motherfucking idiots.
Oh and the reason they can't extend my contract?
Tight budget?
Really?

Not tight enough to pay for your
6k-a-month apartment,
you greedy piece of shit.

At least I've already got
an offer from another company.

So fuck every single one of you morons.

And if I manage to get into your main rivals,
so help me,
I will fuck this company up so badly,
you'll wish  you had a flaming dildo up the ass.

Have a nice day, bitches.

The Truth

... is that you're all full of shit.
Every single one of you.

Fuck you.

Release The Hounds

Well...
It just hit me. I'm 29. Well going to be real soon, anyway.

I've got a ton of stories that have been
swirling around in my head since
I was 14.

It's time to clear some space up there.

So before the end of this year,
I'll try and get most,
if not all of them out of the basement,
and onto paper, so to speak.

What can I say?
Either pay rent,
or get the fuck out.

Maybe once they're gone,
I'll finally be able to enjoy porn.

Damn

Why did I think it was a good idea?
Socialising.
Dating??

Sheesh.

You gotta admit,
for a while,
it was kind of... fun.

I mean,
I KNEW it was coming,
that nothing was gonna happen.


But man...
even when you crash
gently...
it fucking burns.

Oh well.

What The-

Let's see now...
I'm fucking depressed
because I realize she's only being 'nice'...

I hit the gym...
I'm sweaty,
I'm exhausted...
I'm bloated thanks to that shake...

And of course,
the bus just won't come...

So what happens?
I get a tap on the shoulder
from the chick at the gym.

What is she, high?
Didn't she get the memo?

So we talked.
And talked on the bus.
And talked as I walked her to where she was meeting a friend.

I'd seen her so many times before,

and that was the first time
I'd ever really spoken with her.

We exchanged numbers,
and maybe,
just maybe we might
be hanging out sometime soon.

Fucking weird.

The hell's going on?

Grow Some Brain Cells

Ugh you dumbass bitch.

All I did was give them basic information
which we give to all the partners all the time anyway!

YOU FUCKING MORONS.

This is what I get for working
with fucking dumbass 'educated' Singaporeans.

Speaking of whom,
why in the FUCK would
you read a newspaper...
while standing up...
in a packed train?

WHY??
GOD these people need
to be punched repeatedly in the face with my jackhammer.

Why

Why the fuck did you do that?
Sheesh.

Postponed to next Friday.
Now I'm wondering what
the hell I'm gonna do about this Saturday.

Ah well.