So Many Things

Yes, this is where I come to bitch and moan.
If you don't like it,
please feel free to take a spiky dildo and stick it up your ass
(I was originally going to say "nice, spiky cactus" but the cactus is innocent in all of this,
unlike you).

It's been so long since I've last written,
and my brain is in a fog again.

To make matters worse,
I haven't even been working
out regularly and my stamina has gone to shit.

Can barely lift up
the Littlest Dictator for more than
a few minutes at a time.

I'm fucking anxious.
Between the GrabHitch fuck-up (the app still doesn't work for me),
and Uber (with Grab soon to follow, more likely than not)
rating passengers now,
not to mention the low opportunities for next year,
I really need to not only launch my own small side business and write comics again,
but also begin fundraising for my major project, Momo Ride.

Somebody needs to stand up to these large motherfuckers.

I mean, rating passengers?
THEY ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING EMPLOYEES.

What this looks like to me,
is another step towards policing behaviour
by large corporations directly,
instead of via manipulating governments.

Nobody disputes denying service
to passengers who behave poorly,
but these sorts of behaviour are well-established.
From racist verbal abuse to actual violence.

But a ranking system basically
is basically telling passengers (who may not have an alternative)
to behave according to their own narrow set of rules.

And these can be arbitrary as well.
Do you need to be super friendly?
Smile all the time?
Never get annoyed?
Is there way to respond to questions from the fucking driver
that is acceptable and non-acceptable?
Do you always need to say "please" and "thank you"
or risk a low rating?

I mean, what the fuck is this?
Who the fuck are you to tell passengers, customers what to do?

You are providing a motherfucking service,
but because you've become so large due to government corruption,
that you feel emboldened to fucking police your customers' behaviour?

No.
Go fuck yourselves.

Even if I do fail,
at the very least I know I tried.

Well enough of that.

Breakneck Speed

There are so many things I'd like to write about,
but I'm being bombarded for attention by my daughter,
and HR at work,
whilst trying to finish a goddamn proposal.

I'll have to keep this quick.
First of all, this motherfucking case in Singapore:
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/man-fined-for-pushing-colleague-in-self-defence-causing-victim-to-fracture

Man is convicted of...  basically defending himself, from what I can see.
But hey, HEY, don't take my work for it!
Read the article.

His colleague fucking ATTACKS him...
was throwing goddamn punches...
and all he did was push back.

That guy fell,
fractured his skull
and passed away.

And THIS guy gets convicted?
FUCKING WHY.

Someone said
that Singapore's law around self-defence
basically indicates that if you have a chance to run away,
and don't,
and choose to defend yourself,
then you'll be on the hook as well.

WHAT.

I mean, is he supposed to
hightail it out of there
and abandon his vehicle?
Would he get fired for it?
Should he have run?
Could he have stepped back and run without getting injured?

It's really fucking easy on hindsight,
but this guy had to process all that shit
WHILE BEING ASSAULTED.

And as the case shows,
something as simple as a shove
can result in a severe,
even fatal injury.

So what,
was he supposed to LET the guy hit him?
Would the government have covered his medical costs?
If he'd lost his job over it,
would it have covered his loss of earnings?
Helped him land a new job?
What if he needed therapy?
What if the assault results in a lifelong disability?

The answer to all of the above is a big fat fucking NO.
In case you were wondering, that is.

And how is this in the public interest?
How does this serve to keep us safer?

This guy lost his job,
and has to pay what is surely to him, a hefty fine.

And for what, exactly?

Well enough of that.

Still Exhausted

The past few weeks have been like a roller coaster,
with deals lost,
emerging new deals,
a ton of proposals,
a trip to Hong Kong.

My mind is exhausted,
and I'm trying to get through to November,
where hopefully things will die down,
and I'll be able to take a breather.

And with my being tired
and not having written anything in a while,
my conversational skills have once again deteriorated.
Goddammit.

It also looks like
I probably won't be able to get my license
in time for Korea in December,
let alone a motherfucking car.

And I haven't been able to work out
due to an old back injury which had probably been aggravated
due to my brilliant idea to trek to the summit of Victoria Peak (from the tram station, not the base, so calm your tits).

Time to power through and close a few deals before I tap out.

Well enough of that.

Tired

I'm so exhausted all the time nowadays.
Missed another gym session,
and had a minor argument with the wife,
so the entire night ended up being unproductive.

And the worst part?
I'll need to hit the gym tonight,
which she'll be upset about.

Goddammit.
There's just so little time for everything.
So little time.

And I still find myself
drifting over to Youtube,
and getting lost in stupid, motherfucking videos until it's time to head back home.

We have a strong chance now to establish
other businesses,
as backups in case something happens to my current role.

But I don't think she actually feels the urgency.
If I were to be let go for whatever reason today,
we'd be pretty much screwed.
And likely, so would her mom.
And possibly my parents further down the road.

I mean holy crap,
I only have around $140 in my savings account right now.
How that doesn't raise alarm bells for her,
I have no idea.

A question from Ragina during lunch
in the meeting room kind of jolted me.
What did I do for leisure?
The first thing that came to mind was...
trying to find ways to make more money.
And the occasional movie when I get the chance...
which is extremely rare.
And the wife doesn't want to watch with me anyway,
preferring her e-books.

Sounds lame,
but I do miss the early days
when we'd watch shows together
and talk about them afterwards.

We couldn't do that
when The Littlest Dictator first arrived, sure.
But we can do that now,
yet, she prefers those books.

Sometimes it feels like she's basically glued to her phone.
Hell, she even ignores my messages sometimes,
preferring to continue reading.

It's like I'm in a maze,
unable to find my way out,
with the Minotaur constantly looking for my ass.

Guess the only thing I can do now
is to restart working out,
and stick with the plan of saving $4K each month until January,
whilst trying out other things on the side to see what sticks.

Well enough of that.

Errors

Barely got any sleep the night before,
and the night before that.

In fact, I haven't been sleeping well for
some time now,
but these past two days have been
worse than usual.

It's definitely affecting me.
I'm looking at recent posts and
other stuff I've written
and can see basic grammatical errors
that annoy the hell out of me.

I mean goddammit,
there's probably a strong chance
there'll be a few in this post as well.

News these days tends to be more negative than usual (or maybe I wasn't paying attention),
and I'm trying to find other sources of income,
having read the headline about a guy who made around a million bucks
in a few years (or less, I don't know).

I can barely motivate myself
to finish a comic,
or complete a design,
let alone do actual work.

It's exhausting.

But I have to keep going.
Time's running out and I have to power through.

Well enough of that.

Love

I've got an important meeting

in four minutes, so this is going to be very short.

This is in fact, more important than any meeting I'll ever have.

I once asked malishka

about what love means to her.

And this adorable 4 year-old,

surprised me with:

"Love is when I play with you".

Concentration Camps

Concentration camps. They're concentration camps where children are being tortured. Some have died.

Here's a fun fact: Anne Frank died in a concentration camp, likely from disease.

Should've taken a page out of Australia's book and placed the camps in an offshore location. Out of sight, out of mind.

Now let's all pat ourselves on the back for being such good, freedom-loving, decent human beings.

https://www.democracynow.org/2019/6/24/somebody_is_going_to_die_lawyer

Everybody who defends, or deflects attention from these camps are vile, disgusting creatures cut from the same cloth as those who lynched innocent men, women, children.

They are not human,

and they cannot be reasoned with,

and must be beaten back with sticks and stones whenever they advance with their fangs out.

But we must be better than them,

and endure their repeated attempts.

We shouldn't be weak.

Every one of their charges needs to be

beaten back with full force.

Once they've retreated back into their holes,

we must stop.

Violence is absolutely a requirement,

but not needless, senseless violence.

Only enough to stop what they're doing.

Let them fester in their pits,

if that's what they want.

Every attempt they make to

hurt others must be repelled.

And if any of them

choose to come over,

to try and learn,

and be compassionate,

find their lost dignity and decency,

then our doors must be open to them.

Regardless of what they've done.

Regardless.

So long as they are still breathing,

we must show them that decency must prevail.

Then there is another way.

We will be disappointed,

outraged,

betrayed.

This is a certainty.

But we must hold fast.

For we are better than these animals.

Well enough of that.

Happiness

It just hit me as I was washing dishes
on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
intermingling with thoughts of going back to Korea,
and the mild frustration with having to come back to Singapore and work.

Happiness is so fleeting.
And I'd read someone say (in an online comment!)
that people experience happiness,
and spend their lives chasing after
the chance to experience something similar or better.
Well something like that.

But the core of the message has stuck with me.

Happiness is fleeting.
You'll always have problems,
things to do,
bills to pay,
responsibilities.

Even with all the money
in the world,
there's no such thing as pure happiness all the time.

Whether it's games or sex or anything else you can think of.
It always ends.

And those who can't accept this,
are doomed to chase after phantoms.

Even if you aren't,
the entire process is a marathon.
I mean, I knew that.
I KNOW that.

But it's always good to remind yourself from time to time.

My OCD has been acting up again,
and I fear that it might influence the little one.

I've decided though,
to take it easy.

Can't pray 5 times a day?
Cut it down first.
Build up the tolerance like a muscle.

Otherwise it all come crumbling down,
and not only will I bring myself to the dirt,
I'll drag my family with me.
Not gonna happen.

Anyway,
looking forward to getting my license,
and driving a tiny-ass car in Korea!
Or maybe a decent-sized car.
Eh, we'll see.

Well enough of that.

On Antisemitism and Being Sleepy

So I wasn't planning on posting today,
but a client had requested that I pen
a recommendation for her on LinkedIn,
which I'm happy to do.

She's definitely a pleasure to work with,
and quite sharp. 

Problem is, I'm quite sleepy
and for the life of me,
can't figure out how
to get a paragraph in that
doesn't sound like it was written
by a spaced-out toddler who'd just finished her ice-cream.

So I tried reading the news.
Went to The Guardian,
and saw an opinion piece on
Germany's approach to antisemitism:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/29/the-guardian-view-on-german-responses-to-antisemitism-frankness-and-honesty

It was open for comments.
Yep.

As usual,
with anything even remotely related to Muslims,
you get a deluge of bigoted comments,
including for people who purportedly
are concerned about discrimination against Jews.

The same types of comments that
you'd get on any article involving Muslims and women.
Even if it were an article about the achievement of a woman
who happens to be Muslim.

Yea...
I get the feeling it's kind of like
a guy with swastika tattoos
who's beating on his wife
whilst shouting at the TV at how
those Muslims are supposedly treating women and other minorities.

They do not argue in good faith,
so there's no convincing them otherwise.

This is also why I get confused
when some people eschew violence
completely whilst protesting against
those who are happy to commit horrific violence upon them.

If your objective is to get them to stop it,
then in some cases violence is needed.
Not excessive violence.
But enough to make them stop.

But that's just my opinion.

So back to this article,
going through the comments,
it becomes clear that for most of these guys,
critical thinking is something only "liberal elites" do.

For example,
quite a few of them seem to equate "far right"
with... "Whites".
So they were complaining that
Muslim extremists were wrongly classified.

You could not make this up.
I hate to break it to you guys,
but far right Muslims are still... you know, far right.
You fucking idiots.

Oh, and we're forgetting
a little something, aren't we?

The German state also classify
criticism of Zionists and Israel as "antisemitic".
So if you were against the apartheid state and its policies,
you'd be labeled as a racist, an anti-Semite.
Which is ironic,
since Palestinian Arabs happen to be Semites as well.
But yeah.

I'm severely annoyed,
but it's being blunted by how sleepy I am.

Think I've managed to figure out how to get that paragraph done.
Will get to it now.

Well enough of that.

Nazis

I've got a lot to say,
but I'll need to make this short
before my daughter and wife
come out of the room,
demanding attention.

So I've finished listening to
one of Joe Rogan's podcasts
with Annie Jacobsen,
who wrote a book about Operation Paperclip,
which is about the Nazi scientist who were brought
over to America by the government.

One argument I've heard
over and over again is that yeah,
while these were
horrible people who did unspeakable things,
at least they discovered or their research paved the way to
a cure for a horrible disease or some other modern marvel
that we would have never discovered otherwise.

Oh yes,
innocent people (including children)
had to experience great suffering,
and sure, we sulk about it from time to time,
but hey, it all worked out in the end!

Thumbs up everyone!
It's all good!

This fucking pisses me the hell off.


Why?
Well first of all,
it's based purely on speculation.
100%

How the fuck do we know
there weren't other, more humane ways?

We could of course
refer to the millions of potential
scientists and engineers...
brilliant people who were discriminated against,
tortured,
killed,
whole families...
but you know,
they ALL FUCKING DIED BEFORE THEY COULD DO ANYTHING.

Fuck the people
who try to justify the atrocities
or downplay how horrible it all was,
or try to ignore that aspect altogether.

The world could've turned
out differently...
or maybe it could've been worse,
who knows?

We'll never know because
of what those fuckers did.

Here's another thing that gets me.
Why do Westerners in general
consistently treat the Holocaust
as the worst thing that ever happened in the history of mankind?

It was undeniably horrible,
but the way it gets described,
it's as if there's a grotesque competition going on.

All other atrocities on a similar scale
tend to get brushed aside.

There are some who
claim that the Holocaust
is basically Europeans bringing to
Europe what they've been doing
in other parts of the world,
particularly Africa.

Where were
the trials and raft of laws
passed after the Congo Genocide?

I'll need to end this soon,
but I'll add this:
The Nazi scientists who
were brought to the US,
were LAUDED,
celebrated as great men.

They were given awards
and lavish banquets
and a lot of money.

Why?
You could've had
an arrangement
where they had to work,
and contribute
while on lifelong parole.

That wouldn't
have been anywhere
near justice,
but I could at least
understand that.

But nope!
They were
treated with honour and respect
and lived in motherfucking luxury.

How many Jewish or non-white
scientists do you think
managed to advance in NASA
while a fucking Nazi ran it?

And that was just a symptom.
The "people" who accommodated them,
the fucking animals who sympathised
with their twisted ideology,
were the ones who ran the government
and spread out in positions of power throughout the US.

With that kind of prevalent culture,
how many non-whites were
given the opportunity to learn and succeed?

I've heard racists
claim why aren't there
more people of colour
who have been awarded a Nobel prize as opposed to whites?

Well it's simple, assholes.
They were stopped before they had the chance.

Well enough of that.

Notre Dame Burns

This is going to be short and angry.

So there's been a fire at Notre Dame in France,
and apparently the damage is extensive.

Now usually I despair at things like this,
where priceless historical documents and buildings are damaged beyond repair.

Apparently it's a tragedy worthy of being plastered
across the front pages or newspapers or front and centre
on most major news sites like The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2019/apr/15/notre-dame-cathedral-fire-paris-france-landmark-live-news).

The more I read about it,
the less I cared about the building and the more angry I got.
In fact, I'm downright furious.

Refugees are being tortured and abused
around the world,
including France...
and this is what's most important to them?
THIS takes precedence?

Hell, I could understand it being a major news story,
which it most definitely is.

But when I read about how the French PM asked the country
to rebuilt it together,
and account a motherfucking international fundraising campaign
for repairs...

And not to mention a cocksucking billionaire who has
pledged 100 million euros towards rebuilding it...

Words can't describe how pissed off I am.
It's hard for me to view them as people.
These goddamn fucking animals.

Refugees are treated like dirt
(as a direct result of French interference in their countries, by the way),
and suffering...
not to mention other marginalized groups like
the Roma especially.

And this?
This is what they're raising funds for?

And I can just imagine the
response from racists (the ones with balls will at least admit it)
who will use all manner of deflective arguments to
justify by a goddamn building matters more than
(non-white) human lives.

Fuck every single one of them.

Well enough of that.

• Macron asked the country to commit to rebuilding Notre Dame together, announcing an international fundraising campaign to raise money for the repairs. A site taking online donations has been launched.
  
• French billionaire François-Henri Pinault, the chairman and CEO of international luxury group Kering, pledged 100 million euros towards rebuilding Notre Dame, according to a statement.

Shamima Begum and the Stripping of her British Citizenship

So ISIS is on their last legs,
and are pretty much dead.

And of course,
the calls for brutal vengeance
against anyone perceived to have been a part of
the group have now grown to a crescendo,
I feel.

So many people are
expressing what they probably think of as righteous anger.
Some more extreme than others.
Because they're so good,  you see.
Such good, decent people.

I am no fan of ISIS,
and I'm glad to see the end of them.

But is this the path to peace?
I mean, really?

Hell, even Nazi grunts
were treated better!

And some of the more senior members
were actually on AMERICAN SOCIAL SECURITY
until a few years ago.

FUCKING NAZIS.

Lately,
there have been a ton of articles on
Shamima Begum,
who had left Britain at age 15 (!!)
to travel to ISIS-held territory,
and was married off to a guy twice her age (read: statutory rape).

So she's 19 now,
and the war is pretty much over.

She wants to return to the UK,
and live a quiet life with her child.

But nope!
Not only are so many people against it,
but that motherfucking piece of shit
U.K. Home Minister,
himself a son of immigrants,
in an attempt to pander especially to nationalists (I mean come on,
basically white racists),
had decided to revoke her citizenship,
essentially rendering her stateless.

Oh!
But not for her son,
of course.

Yea, that's not all kinds of fucked up.

And people are cheering for it!
They're ecstatic!

I mean,
sure, she doesn't regret supporting ISIS,
but she hasn't been convicted of any crime.

So she's essentially being punished
in an extralegal way for "thoughtcrime".

And let's not kid ourselves here.
She and her child.

Never mind the fact
that she was FIFTEEN when she
was married off to a much older guy and got pregnant.

Nope, no grooming there.
I've seen so many
people who must've been frothing at
the mouth as they exclaimed "SHE WENT THERE WILLINGLY".

She was FIFTEEN.
Let that sink in for a second.

Oh what?
Doesn't apply?

Anything to do with the fact that
she's brown and Muslim?
Naaaah.
Probably not, right?

Also, the war is over.
AND SHE WAS A CIVILIAN.

I mean holy shit.
I don't see anybody baying for the blood
of American and British troops' who have been convicted of torture (yea, there's a ton to talk about there but I'll skip it for now).

How barbaric is that?
When a war is over,
you RELEASE the POWs.

But nope.
Let' focus on technicalities like how
they're not really soldiers,
but actually "enemy combatants".

When will people learn
that the objective is to continue
perpetual war.
Keep creating generation after generation of enemies.
The gravy train must never stop.

Oh, and for those
claiming she could be a security risk?
In the UK?

Again,
I don't recall soldiers who have
been convicted of torture (too few,
and the sentences too lenient)
having had their citizenship revoked.

Are you telling me they're less of a security risk
vs. the mother of an infant
against whom there's no evidence
that she has committed or plans to commit any crime?

What about those violent white nationalists?
No?
Not a threat either?

OK, OK... how about
the politicians and businesses
that have benefited and continue to benefit
immensely from arms sales, for example?

Be responsible for the murder of millions
of brown people and it's a-OK.
Be married to an enemy fighter and wanting to live a quiet life?
HOLY SHIT EVERYBODY FREAK THE FUCK OUT.

And of course,
those same goddamn idiots
who applaud the revocation of her citizenship
probably don't realize something: It sets a precedence.

What it means is
anyone can have their citizenship arbitrarily revoked by the Home Ministry.
No due process whatsoever.

Of course the majority of those
applauding this are not worried at all.

Why?
Simple. How often do you see this kind of happening to whites?
Oh sure,
a few isolated cases here and there.

But if they truly felt threatened,
you would've seen massive protests.

Oh no.
They know quite well that they're generally safe.
But they're wrong.

Piss off the wrong person for whatever reason,
maybe the officer's girlfriend looked at you the wrong way or added you on Facebook,
maybe the office is just having a bad day or doesn't like your face or has a quota to fill.

Of course those idiots won't recognise the danger,
until it affects them.

Well enough of that.

Liam Neeson Deserves a Cookie

So this is going to be a really quick one.
I've finally got a bit of time to do my shit,
but this thought has been swirling around in my head
to the point where it's about to become a goddamn hurricane,
so I've got to let it out.

Liam Neeson was promoting
yet another one of this mindless action flicks (he's a goddamn grandpa, but yea OK),
when he mentioned wanting to kill any black man
over the tragic rape of one of his friends.

I'm not going to go over into too much
detail about that, which you can read about here:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/feb/06/liam-neesons-racist-actions-avenge-white-woman-lynching-black-people

You can also Google the numerous articles and endless follow-up
articles about it.
I don't have the time to delve into all of that.

Instead,
I'd like to focus on the reaction
of some people.

Apparently
Liam Neeson confessing
about something as horrifying as that
is not that big of a deal!

"The man's no longer a racist!"
They should and scream
whilst decrying those who express
horror and anger and dismay at his comments.

In fact,
quite a number of them
claim he should be commended!
One goddamn article even said he should
receive a medal!

Sure.

Maybe not a medal.
That would be going too far.
How about a cookie?

A cookie for that time
when he wanted to lynch a random black man,
and stalked the streets with a large stick
for a whole week but aww shucks,
the opportunity just never came up!
(Let's forget about how he basically abandoned
the friend he was supposedly seeking justice for,
in order to fulfill a racist fantasy).

And after that week,
his racism was cured!
It was completely gone!

What a motherfucking miracle!

Apparently he decided something like
"Oh what on earth am I doing? Silly me!"
He then spoke with friends and a priest
and took up power walking!

And the racism was gone!
Completely!
Never discriminated against others again
based on the colour of their skin!

I mean sure, we don't have to delve into ANY of that.
Of course not.
OF COURSE NOT.

I'm sure during his rise,
and throughout his time as an A-Lister,
he never held anyone's careers back
because they were not the right colour.

I am absolutely positive
that he never EVER hurt anyone,
or went just a wee bit overboard,
because that person wasn't White.

Nope!
Banish the thought!
How dare you!

He power walks, goddammit!
You motherfucking ignoramus.

Also, I'll have you know,
that he said if his friend
had mentioned that the rapist were white,
he would've gone after a white person!
So there!

I mean sure,
he would've have gone after just ANY ol' white person.
That would be silly.

Can you imagine right after that conversation,
where he heads home,
picks up his beloved weapon,
looks himself in the mirror and bashes his brains in?
That would be ridiculous!

How about his dad?
Of course not.
His close friends?
Nah.

He would have had to
create a nice, neat little list
in his head about the acceptable types
of white person to lynch.

It would've required a bit more thought, you see.

But not for blacks!
It's only logical, after all.

So let's forget about all that crap.
And focus on his excellent acting,
especially in the Taken series,
which,
now that I think about it,
is basically one long
white male saviour fantasy,
involving evil (and rapist and mostly brown or black) foreigners.

Fear the old,
middle aged white man!
His strength and anger are beyond compare!

OK let's say he truly is not racist anymore.
Did he try to make up for what he did,
and what he was?
How has he tried to atone for his actions?

Ahh... shut the fuck up already!
Let's give him the cookie.


So yea,
fuck him,
and the white supremacists who defend this cunt.

Well enough of that.

What's The Goddamn Point

That I haven't written lately

is not for lack of material or motivation,

but mostly due to my goddamn packed-as-hell schedule.

Right now though,

I feel like I'm about to explode,

and if I don't write,

my frustration might come out in a more unexpected and unpleasant way.

So here I am.

There's so fucking much to write about, man.

From the situation in Venezuela with the idiots who don't know

a goddamn thing about the country lambasting socialism,

and the "corrupt" government that had been elected in free and fair elections.

Here's a tip: Just because some sections of the incompetent, corrupt opposition

decide to boycott the elections does not invalidate the results.

Reminds me of the history of the Soviet Union,

and how everybody seems to have forgotten how it truly

was a "People's Revolution" (technically two revolutions in

a short space of time),

and how the other world powers crushed similar revolutions,

and attacked the newly-formed union, non-stop.

The documentation is there.

Read, you lazy, ignorant bastards. 

Then maybe you'll learn 

a little bit about how the Soviet Union morphed into

the grotesque entity that it eventually became near the end. 

What else?

Oh yeah. 

My beloved wife.

Who is now addicted to e-books.

It's like nearly every waking hour,

every available second she has is dedicated to 

reading those goddamn abominations.

Alright fine,

it's not that I have anything against e-books per se.

But man, we don't really talk anymore,

even when we're outside.

Once I decided to see 

how far away I could get

while she was distracted by her book.

Turns out, pretty goddamn far.

And she was upset about it.

Holy shit.

What is the motherfucking point

of hanging out with someone,

when that person gets to dictate 

exactly when interaction happens?

Do you know how much fun it is

to walk alongside someone,

or sit opposite them for a drink at a cafe,

while they are completely glued to their phone?

How about when you try and make conversation,

and you can see the annoyed look

on their face,

about how you're interrupting them instead?

The other day I briefly snapped at her for being

glued to her phone while we were walking to our 

ride, that was waiting for us.

And she got upset about it!

Holy shit put it down for one goddamn second.

Do I need to always check on you

like you're a child?

I literally could've just gotten in the car

and taken off...

and she MIGHT have noticed

maybe 20-30 mins later.

Or even an hour.

How the hell do you expect me to 

want to speak with you,

hang out with you,

if the phone and those books

hold most of your attention?

Tried speaking with her about it,

and she always gets defensive.

Always.

It feels fucking hopeless,

and after an exhausting day or week at work,

I'm really too tired to even put in much effort to try and overcome it.

Let her have her fucking books.

I've got my own projects to work on.

And we'll see where we are at the end of the year.

Well enough of that.