Democracy?

Gonna be a quick post on something that's been crashing itself against my skull,
trying desperately to get out.

Democracy. Specifically so-called Western-style democracy,
which also happens to be practised in Singapore.

Here's the thing. Fascism is really hard, you guys.
Maintaining a really hardcore police state tends to drain profits.

Manipulation is so much better.
It's the lubrication that allows for a 'soft dictatorship',
or something like, I don't fucking know, a 'semi-totalitarian state'.

Democracy works only with an informed populace.
You don't need to know everything, but you need to have and regularly practice critical thinking skills.

- and I've just again been interrupted by my wife who wants help with the baby.
Nothing wrong with that usually, unless it happens all goddamn day,
preventing me from doing meaningful work.

It's hard looking after a hyperactive baby,
but expecting me to contribute so much time to helping out
will prevent me from working.
And guess what? No work = no money.

She understands that on some level.
Some level. But it seems like she gets so fucking emotional,
that logic goes out the window.

Things that could've been settled in a mere hours take fucking weeks.
It's like all she sees is how hard her part is in looking after the baby,
despite the help she gets from my mom and siblings.
Nope.
I need to help at all motherfucking hours of the motherfucking day.
Even with my messed up body,
occasional migraine attacks.

And what's even better?
She usually doesn't even fucking acknowledge the help I do put in.
Just today I spent half of the day looking after our baby,
despite not having enough sleep,
body aches all over
(from having to sleep outside, because she asked me to due to my snoring waking up the baby),
and a fucking headache.

When she finally had the time to look after the baby,
she chastised me for essentially not helping out at all,
by making it seem like she does all the work.

And this happens daily.
While I'm trying to get the business off the ground and look for a job at the same time.

Motherfucker, I can't even finish this goddamn short article without being interrupted twice.

Anyway, I digress.
Best to end this early.

Democracy doesn't work with a dumbed down, uninformed population.
And voting for the lesser evil?
That's still fucking immoral.

I mean, if person A kills two of your kids, and person B kills only one,
would you vote for person B?
This is relevant especially in the US and the endless wars that they wage on other countries around the world.

Well enough of that.

Still Sinking

We went below the $18K mark yesterday,
and I'm still nowhere close to properly launching the business.

The money will run out at soon,
and instead of launching the business,
I'll probably have to get a job.
And in the current job market coupled with the colour of my skin,
it's definitely going to be harder than last time.
Hell, it could even take more than six months.

I'm trying so goddamn hard to get the business off the ground,
and get in shape to look good for interviews.

And yet, time and again she has shown that
she just doesn't seem to get it.
We've had arguments and discussions and agreements
over how she should focus on the baby so I can do some actual work.
And yet nearly every single day, I can barely get a step or two forward
before having to put things on the backburner while I help out with the Littlest Dictator.

I really do love spending time with the little one, I do.
Not too many dads get to spend
almost the whole day every day with their kids for the first years of their lives.
That's something I'll forever treasure.

But the money IS running out.
My dad's likely going to be retired (or forced into retirement by next year or the year after that).
When that happens, what the hell are we going to do?
Where's the money for the milk and diapers going to come from?

We're on a sinking ship,
and it really hit home yesterday (or was it the day before?)
how she seems oblivious to this fact.
She actually asked me to get a stroller that's designed for a bigger toddlers,
one that would likely cost more than two hundred bucks.
And here's the kicker: It's unnecessary!
Our current one works just fine and IS meant for bigger toddlers too.

This is apart from the occasional question on when we're getting our own apartment,
to the weekly question of where shall we go on the weekends,
as if I had got any proper work done throughout the motherfucking week.

We keep going like this,
and the money will run out,
and her reaction's likely going to be another responsibility-evading 'I didn't know!'

I desperately need her help to actually look after the baby throughout the day while I work.
Yea sure, you'll catch me watching videos and shit like that.
But it's something I need to do, to get going.
I'm trying to break out of that habit, to just get to work, but it's an uphill task,
and I get interrupted every ten or fifteen or twenty minutes.

She needs to understand that an hour or thirty minutes a day is
NOT ENOUGH to get proper work done.
But she can't.
Or more likely, she won't.

So all I can do is continue to struggle as the ship slowly sinks down into the water.

Well enough of that.