Yeah, yeah, just a little exaggeration.
A little too dramatic.
I was thinking of a milder word to use,
when it hit me: Holy shit I can't!
Maybe it's the fatigue.
But not writing for about a month or so probably has something to do with it too.
My wife's out of the hospital,
and both baby and mother are safe.
Man, that's a relief.
I didn't show it, but when I found out the tummy aches
were contractions (at only 6 months),
it genuinely scared me.
It's the 25th of Sep,
and this is the first time I've resumed writing a post
I accidentally left unfinished.
Hell, it's the first time I've ever left a post unfinished.
So I missed all but one session yesterday.
And this morning I missed the first one.
Laziness. And a bit of was-was.
Today will be different. It has to be.
I've seen the alternative path,
gone through it.
Things have to change.
There's so many things I want to write about.
The Start-Up Challenge, my business ideas,
arguments against ignorant, misleading Islamophobic statements and articles,
the continuation of my action hero story...
But dear GOD am I tired.
Even now I can feel myself struggling to find the words.
One thing's for sure.
Nothing changes until I make the move.
Tired as I am, mentally and physically,
unless I dig myself out of this hole,
no one else is going to do it for me.
And now that I've got others depending upon me
to be the stable one,
the rock,
I've got the kind of motivation I've never had before.
I hope I don't feel it right this moment due to the fatigue.
But things will have to change.
Instead of suicide,
my target has changed (unexpectedly, I know)(shut the fuck up).
Now, it's retirement. At 40.
Go all out. Burn out the engine. Wear the tyres down to the spokes, and let the sparks fly.
And when it's all over, I'll check out.
Live in the countryside,
and be at peace with my wife and child.
My child,
who will be protected from all the hatred directed towards Muslims.
Growing up, she shall not have to ask me why her classmates' parents hate her.
Why she is supposed a horrible person.
No. She will not.
This is a promise.
Well enough of that
