What. The.

Sunday morning,
and my eyelids are still heavy.

Once again,
after reading and hearing about Islamphobic,
or bigoted comments,
I find myself struggling to find the words to form a coherent argument
to rebut those dumbass, ignorant cocksuckers (those last three words didn't take much thought, though).

For example.
it just popped into my mind Lee Kuan Yew's bullshit argument
about how because Malays (the indigenous minority) and Muslims (most of whom are Malays)
slowed down Singapore's economic progress due to their... increased religiosity.

Never mind the fact that he produced zero factual evidence.
Oh I'm sure he has a few anecdotes for which we have to take his word for,
or strawman arguments to support his bullshit case.

Never mind that.
And let's assume that it is true how Muslims in Singapore became more religious (again, no proof).

Since he placed himself and his family's ass firmly
in the leadership position (how he did it is a whole other long, disturbing story),
shouldn't he be taking responsibility for not adapting the demographic changes?

Man, he and his family and cronies just love (LOVE!) to
go on and on and on about how they brought Singapore progress and prosperity.
You know, as if ordinary Singaporeans had so little to do with it,
being simple-minded and all.

Oh, and worry not! They also rewarded themselves based on
how much they feel their contribution is worth (Lee Kuan Yew is a billionaire).

So yeah,
he loves taking the credit for Singapore's success (if you can call it that).

But when problems arise?
Oh it's always this group's fault, or that one's.
It's never theirs.

I'd probably get more and more pissed off
the more I think about it.

So instead,
I'll focus on the Pram Site business plan.

Well enough of that

Disintegration

Yeah, yeah, just a little exaggeration.
A little too dramatic.

I was thinking of a milder word to use,
when it hit me: Holy shit I can't!

Maybe it's the fatigue.
But not writing for about a month or so probably has something to do with it too.

My wife's out of the hospital,
and both baby and mother are safe.
Man, that's a relief.
I didn't show it, but when I found out the tummy aches
were contractions (at only 6 months),
it genuinely scared me.

It's the 25th of Sep,
and this is the first time I've resumed writing a post
I accidentally left unfinished.

Hell, it's the first time I've ever left a post unfinished.

So I missed all but one session yesterday.
And this morning I missed the first one.

Laziness. And a bit of was-was.
Today will be different. It has to be.
I've seen the alternative path,
gone through it.

Things have to change.

There's so many things I want to write about.
The Start-Up Challenge, my business ideas,
arguments against ignorant, misleading Islamophobic statements and articles,
the continuation of my action hero story...

But dear GOD am I tired.
Even now I can feel myself struggling to find the words.

One thing's for sure.
Nothing changes until I make the move.
Tired as I am, mentally and physically,
unless I dig myself out of this hole,
no one else is going to do it for me.

And now that I've got others depending upon me
to be the stable one,
the rock,
I've got the kind of motivation I've never had before.
I hope I don't feel it right this moment due to the fatigue.
But things will have to change.

Instead of suicide,
my target has changed (unexpectedly, I know)(shut the fuck up).

Now, it's retirement. At 40.
Go all out. Burn out the engine. Wear the tyres down to the spokes, and let the sparks fly.

And when it's all over, I'll check out.
Live in the countryside,
and be at peace with my wife and child.

My child,
who will be protected from all the hatred directed towards Muslims.
Growing up, she shall not have to ask me why her classmates' parents hate her.
Why she is supposed a horrible person.

No. She will not.
This is a promise.

Well enough of that