Baby!

So here I am, at 8 in the evening on a Sunday night.
Not worried about work tomorrow, since I've been laid off.

Last night, the test came back positive: We're having a baby!
My first reaction was of... disbelief.
It's such a huge thing, you know?
I am happy. It's pretty goddamn awesome.
But right now, the actual changes you can see are miniscule,
so it feels surreal.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about the costs.
Last time I was unemployed, it took quite sometime before I got another gig.

There's a lot I'd like to talk about.
Like how I keep getting stiffed out of proper titles for the roles I've played.
In Esri, I was a bonafide Business Development Manager,
not matter whatever bullshit title they chose to stick me with (Sales Associate).

What's that?
I had a choice?
Sure. The choice of either stagnating for a few years in lower paying jobs,
or accepting it and being able to list the experience in my CV.
There are many other reasons,
but maybe I'll write about them another day.

So yeah.
I'm also concerned about education, religious and otherwise.
Jenia wants the kid to have a choice. So do I.
Here's the thing:
Her idea of giving the kid a choice, is not teaching the kid anything to avoid influencing the choice.

The way I see it,
the kid has a right to learn.
You make the choice when you're old enough.
An informed choice.
The skills and knowledge are there for you to choose to utilize.

But without that knowledge in the first place,
how will you make an informed choice?

Depriving a child of the knowledge also plays a huge role.
A decision based on ignorance is dangerous,
regardless of whether it's about religion or something else.

But we'll cross the bridge when we get there.

Right now I'm focused on getting another gig,
learning how to drive,
getting a car,
getting fit,
and starting to pray 5 times a day.

It's Everest. And I will reach the summit with my bare hands if I have to.
But let there be no doubt that I will.

Well enough of that

Stuttering

Man, I should not have read all those articles about hate crimes against Muslims,
about the bullshit that is continuously being provided by the mainstream media (Muslims are bad! Fear them! OMG!).

Sure, there are little spots of hope here and there.
Glenn Greenwald for example, and a few others whose names I can't recall at the moment.

I don't get it. Are most people THAT breathtakingly stupid?
I get why some people promote a certain view or ideology: for influence and power, for money.

But the people who swallow this crap.

How many times have Quranic verses been quoted out of context?
How many sayings of the Prophet have been subjected to the same treatment?

Why disregard the context? What are you so afraid of?
That your arguments won't hold up?


Forget that, the sheer number of false quotes and verses they've pumped out must be staggering.
And beyond mere verses.
Hoaxes, distorted news, etc.

Don't trust me on this. Check out what the kind folks at LoonWatch have managed to document:
http://www.loonwatch.com/index-of-islamophobic-hoaxes-fabrications/

Click on each link if you don't believe me. Investigate yourself.
At the very least, people ought to know the whole truth before deciding how they'd like to feel.

But noooo.
So many bigot dumbasses so desperately want validation and that is exactly what they seek.

The stories coming out of the US and France. Man.
Why don't you have a look at the economy first, eh? See how well the education system's doing.
What about job opportunities?
Infrastructure?

Oh yes. Blame the immigrants, especially Muslims (even if they've been there for many generations).

The French especially. Amnesiac fuckers.
Who helped to liberate Paris, in World War 2, by the way?

Brave White Christian soldiers?
Sure, after the African contingent paved the way for your incompetent asses.

And how did France repay these brave soliders?
By screwing them over. Only until recently has the truth come out.

The US wanted to give the impression of a truly White victory.
And they got it.

So what can I do?
Be aware. Keep track of the developments.

In the meantime, I'll live my life the way I want to. The way I have to.
On a personal level, I'll continue to work out, and try to one day be able to perform 5 daily prayers again.

I'll start a business. In fact, I'll give myself a deadline right now.
The end of June. A complete business plan should be in place by then.

Well enough of that

Beautiful Day

It's been so long.
Way too long, in fact.

I need to return here more often.
Once again, I am at a point where it's a struggle for find the right words
and form the proper sentences to articulate my thoughts.

Even as I type this,
numerous possible distractions call out to me.
Their call is so... alluring.
Just a few clicks. Just a few more minutes.
You can always write later.

It's been two weeks or possibly more,
since I've created a design,
or written anything.

And you know what the hell I've been busy with besides work?
Getting over my goddamn porn addiction.

I mean yea,
I don't watch traditional porn,
and I didn't think I even had an addiction.

What's that?
What do I mean by 'don't watch traditional porn'?
I'll leave that to your filthy, filthy imagination.

And believe it or not (and I really don't give a fuck if you don't),
I didn't think what I was watching was porn.

But when it began affecting my sex life,
and when I realized that if I stopped watching it,
I began craving it in a big way,
well, yea,
it's time to fucking STOP.

Sudden bouts of depression,
anxiety,
anger.
Hell, there were moments where I was convinced I should split from my wife,
because she decided to stay a bit longer with her mom in Korea.

Now that I think about it,
maybe it is good that I've got this time alone.
I've read that recovery can take a long, long time.
From 1 month to 6 months or more.

But after about a month,
the most severe withdrawal symptoms tend to subside.
So yeah, hanging in there.
Not as easy as it sounds.

There are so many things I'd like to talk about,
argue against: The new rules imposed on Little India *cough* martial law *cough*,
and the ridiculous uproar over Anton Casey's comments.

I mean sure,
he's a dick.

But suddenly he is all Singaporeans seem to be focused on.
WHAT ABOUT LITTLE INDIA?
You know, something that they should be significantly MORE worried about??

I mean, goddamn.
The bill was suddenly introduced,
and approved in what, less than a day?
Hell, at first I didn't even think it even went to parliament.

By the way,
let's not forget that parliament is dominated by the PAP,
whose members almost always toe the line,
and approving any bill is usually a mere formality,
to give the impression that yea,
Singaporeans' voices are heeded.

So what does this new law entail?
Strip searches,
entry into homes without warrants,
car searches,
you get the idea.

All it takes is for the officer to feel like such an action is needed.

Police State, anyone?

All this before the enquiry has even been completed.
By the way,
if anybody believe the investigating body itself is truly independent,
then man oh man,
I have a bridge I'd like to sell you right now. Great deal. One-time offer, baby.

But the the fact that they didn't even wait for it to come out.
Holy crap.
And people aren't worried about this?

Oh yeah that's right,
because South Asian foreign workers are brutes,
sub-human creatures with inferior intelligence,
who drink and riot because that is what they do,
and so we must control them.

Right.

Hell, they'd even deported a few workers.
What the hell happened to their right to a fair trial?
To contest the charges?

Thanks to the divisive race-based politics,
the idea that these workers are nothing but drunken troublemakers
goes down easier with the general dumbass cocksucking population.

Yes, there are exceptions.
Of course there are.
And if you're wondering whether or not you're one of them,
then chances are that yes, you are.

A dumbass does not realize how much of a dumbass he is.

There were like, only two days of debates.
Not even proper debates.
Just an article or two about whether or not it's the right thing to do.

And after that?
Anton Casey and his seriously stupid comments.

I wouldn't be surprised this had been engineered.

In any case,
it's really good to see just where our goddamn priorities lay.

It's a beautiful day today.
Maybe I'll step outside later.

Well enough of that.

Funny Stuff

This will have to be a short post.
I'm writing this from the living room of my mother-in-law's apartment in Busan.
The early morning sun feels warm on my skin,
reminding me of Singapore.

But one step into the second kitchen with the open window,
and the cold immediately brings me back to where the winters are actually cold.

So someone posted a joke that played on stereotypes of certain groups, from certain countries.
Apparently the people who had pissed him off came from these countries.

Shit. Need to make this even shorter than I intended.

Jokes about vulnerable, or minority groups are not funny, you stupid dumbass cocksucking shithead.
They perpetuate stereotypes, and help to dehumanize those people:
Suddenly it's less wrong to be rude to someone,
or if an injustice happens to them,
eh, it's not so bad.
He or she probably deserved it. They're like that, don't you know?

If a crime occurs, they should become the prime suspects.
It's in their nature, you see.


Fucking dumbass bigots.

Well enough of that

Little India Riot

Didn't really feel like posting today.
Until I read a couple of (sometimes in mangled English) articles and comments,
mostly written by Singaporeans.

I've read all kinds of responses.
From the ones exhorting tolerance,
to the ones baying for blood,
and everything in between.

What's that, you ask?
How do I feel about it?
Why, thank you for asking, dear reader.

I am fucking excited.
Hell, I would LOVE to see more riots in Singapore.

About goddamn time.

Before I go on, a few clarifications need to be made first.
For this post, 'foreign workers' refer to the dark-skinned work-permit holders
from India, Bangladesh, and possibly Pakistan.

These workers have very few rights compared to holders
of Employment Passes,
let alone Singaporeans.

For example,
if they'd been mistreated by their employer and lodged a report,
the motherfucking employer has the power to revoke the permit,
essentially deporting the worker.

Oh sure, they get to stay in Singapore until their cases are resolved,
but they are strictly not allowed to work.

And these cases can take months, if not years to resolve.
That's right.

That's just one example of how the odds are heavily stacked against them.

To the idiots who blame all the foreign workers,
babbling on and on about respecting the law,
being grateful, etc.

Grateful for what, exactly you dumb fuck cocksucker?
They came here for WORK.
Not fucking charity.

Everybody deserves to be treated like an equal.
Like a human being.

Some Singaporeans love
to say this:
'If they don't like it, go home LAH'
It's become a sort of mantra.
This mantra should be condensed,
heated up,
and stuck straight up their asses.

First of all,
what in the holy hell makes you think they even have the choice to go home?
Most of them paid an unholy amount of money to work here,
and you expect them to just up and leave?

The government (that you and your dumbfuck fucking family voted for)
has a relatively open-door policy.
These workers tend to view this as a chance to better themselves.
Not as a chance to get treated like sub-humans;
to be exploited and abused.

We NEED them.
Again, it's not fucking charity.

Just to clarify to a couple of the dumbasses out there,
I am not condoning the riot (although I do think it's fucking AWESOME that it happened).

Think for a second.
Do you honestly believe up to 400 people would suddenly
begin rioting,
endangering their and their families' livelihoods over an ACCIDENT?
Really?

The anger had been simmering for a long, long time.
I've seen the way the police treat the workers there. And I wish I'd done something, but I didn't.

What had been going on there for years?
What them suddenly snap?

The sad part is,
that we will probably never know the truth of what happened.
Especially now since it's become a political issue.

The official smear campaign has begun.
The accident victim was apparently drunk (implying that he shouldered most of the blame).
And so was the mob. The implication for this, being that they are uncivilised alcoholics (a racist stereotype of Indians), savages.

Once they have been dehumanized,
it makes the severe punishments so much easier for the general population to swallow.

Not that it takes much.
The government has been doing pretty well in the area of Race Politics.
Divide them up by race, sow distrust.
A little nudge is all it takes.

Oh and yea,
these foreign workers have not been 'trained' like we have.

And that's a good thing.
They bring with them courage. Singaporeans need this courage. The minorities especially.

They say violence is not the answer.
Really?

When you go against the wishes of the government,
a law that you do not agree with, nor voted for,
a law that dictates you should be sent to prison for not obeying,
what happens when you try to resist?

What exactly do you think happens when you refuse to be put in a cage?
Yea, the officers are not going to sit idly by,
stage a sit-in at your office or anything.

Nope.
They will take you. BY FORCE.

State-sanctioned violence is still violence.

Well enough of that


















 














 

Hazy

Am I tired?
Slept at around midnight last night,
woke up at 7.30am.

Maybe.

But the haze is back.
I feel once again,
unable to form coherent sentences and arguments.

I read a few news articles,
and immediately disagreed with them.
The counter-arguments seemed so very obvious,
yet hidden somehow.

It took someone else to articulate my thoughts.
This needs to change.

Perhaps more sleep will help.

Maybe I'm too stressed out.
Can't even think of a simple goddamn design for Threadless.

Maybe, I don't know.
So much to do today.
And here I am, trying to form coherent thoughts and sentences.

Well enough of that

Hazy

It's Monday,
and I'm back at my parents' place,
in the same place I used to sit as a kid for years and years,
with the windows to my right opening up
to a view of the endless forest outside,
a vast ocean of lush green.

My mind's in a haze.
It's hard to articulate my thoughts,
to find the words.
Hell, it's even hard to visualize simple designs
for Threadless, which I sometimes do when I've got a bit of time to think.

Things are looking up.
Jenia and I have moved back in with my parents,
and we'll be staying here for a while, I reckon.
It'll give us the opportunity to save up for a place of our own.

No more worries about landlords entering without permission,
having to catch them by setting up cameras.
No more worrying about thieves.

There is one more thing to do, however,
On the day we moved out (although our lease lasts until the end of Nov),
I left my HTC Mozart there as a camera,
to capture what would surely be another intrusion by that fat old fuck.

And this time, he would know that I know what he'd been up to.

And now, he is avoiding me,
not replying to my message to meet up.

I'm not particularly worried about him per se,
but he might have his dumbass sons at the ready,
when I come by to pick up my phone and confront him.

Might get a police escort just to make sure
I won't have to beat the shit out of them.

I'm tired.
Very tired.

Well enough of that