Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Kind of a lame title,
but it accurately reflects the situation I'm in.

Well technically,
the situation we're in. My wife and I.
As much as I try to shield her from what's going on
and pretend that everything's OK,
she senses it.

When something's just about to fall apart at the seams,
it's only a matter of time before the signs become glaringly obvious.

It's the second day of Ramadhan,
and I've been out of work for what, two months? Three, possibly.
I don't even want to check.

On my way back from sending her off at the airport,
I'd checked my back balance.
$25.
That's all I have in my account.

Talk about coming full circle.
But regrets won't help.

I'm redoubling my efforts.
Three letters a day, instead of two.
And when I get a job,
I'm putting her Smoothie Bar idea into action.
It's too risky to wait.
Too risky.
The money disappears so damn fast.

In many ways I am very fortunate.
We're staying at my parents' place, rent-free.
Hell, the past couple of weeks I haven't even been paying for the utilities.
Not that I could've.

Dark skies are coming, though.
And we need to get ready, brace ourselves for the coming hurricane.

My dad's nearing retirement age,
and how does his company reward his decades of loyalty?
But offering him the following options (if he's lucky):
Take a 10% pay cut doing the EXACT SAME THING,
or an annual contract with possibly 3 working days a week.

Things keep going the way they are,
and soon, we'll run out of money.

With my kid about 5 months away,
I need to act fast.
And I need to put in place contingencies to avoid
being in a place like this again.

I can't give up.
I won't.

Well enough of that

Recurrence

It's happening again.
Maybe it's because I woke up just an hour ago,
and my head still feels like it's floating.
Or maybe it's something else.

The last interview I had,
I could've been more articulate, but I wasn't.
It was a slight struggle to pick the words I needed.

I should've been writing on a regular basis.
Practised getting my thoughts in order.

Right now, I've got a few prominent ones flying round and round in my skull,
each one vying for attention.

One demands that I talk about the action hero story I'm working on,
about an Afghan man saving his brother from a secret prison.

Another demands I talk about the lack of Muslim heroes in movies and books these days.
The 'Western' ones, at least.

Another talks about the idiots bashing Dein Obeidallah's article on Boko Haram
on the Daily Beast. Holy crap are they stupid as hell.

Anyway. So many thoughts.
So many words begging to be used.


I can't. Not in detail. Not yet.
The fact that I've begun writing the opening portion of the rescue scene is heartening.
Just  little bit. Unless I continue the story soon, it would've been for nothing.


Right now though, I need to focus on getting a job.

Well enough of that.