Stagnation

Yep.
No carpool app yet. No apps of any kind.

As a matter of fact, I've decided to make a few mobile games first,
and use that to fund my carpool app.

Not quite the amount of progress I had in mind but hey,
the train's moving along and - oh goddammit.
Just realized I hadn't even worked on my cat's story either.

Been spending a bit more time at the office lately,
due to a deal.

I've decided that although I do love sales,
their archaic processes are way too much of a pain in the ass.

From the convoluted way of approving quotes before they can be issued,
to way their whole order processing structure is set up,
all of it makes me want to punch people in the face with a shovel/chainsaw combo.

So instead of focusing on doing actual sales,
most of the time is spent with paperwork. NEEDLESS fucking paperwork.

I mean holy shit.
Get a paralegal. And a motherfucking CRM already.

Ironic how the whole sales pitch is about improving the customers' processes.
It would be like selling a washing machine,
while doing all of your laundry by hand. While naked. With a dildo stuck up your ass.

Did I have to add that last bit?
Nope.
But I did anyway. So fuck you very much, ok? OK great.


Now on the home front,
this next thing isn't exactly bad.

But I must admit,
it makes me nervous.

She's reading The Game.
And in the process, she's learning about the pickup community.

I got into the whole PUA thing a while back.
Not to sleep with women,
but to learn how to attract them, and that was it.

Learned about the different techniques,
but I've probably only practised a handful of them.

And here's the thing.
Sometimes I fall short.
Sometimes I know I should've acted a certain way, but didn't.
Or realized it only after it had happened

It's what happens when you don't practise on a regular basis,
and that's fine.

Those moments will keep coming (especially now that I take the train to work every damn day),
like little annoying reminders,
and in the process I'll improve.

But when my wife is aware of those exact same techniques,
it might magnify the effects of those moments.
Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

On the plus side,
it would DEFINITELY help her understand me better.

Plus, it kind of gives her a sort of defence against assholes trying to get with her.

You know what?
Doesn't seem so bad after all.


The end of this post feels like
the ending of some feel-good Disney movie.
Fucking Disney.

Well enough of that.

 

Slow-Moving

Things are moving along at the same pace.
Talk about frustrating.

But the most frustrating of all,
is seeing the lack of advancement.

Personally, professionally.

Oh hell, even now, I find it hard to put words together to form proper sentences.
But it's not just a matter of forming sentences now.
My mind feels once again,
as if it is behind a grey cloud.

There are vague thoughts swimming around up there,
and I can't seem to get them to connect with each other,
to form clearly-defined figures, which can then be expressed through words.

I don't feel too tired,
but I suspect that I am.

The pace needs to be picked up.
And I need to be more disciplined.

Might just abandon my Carpool app idea.
Or make something that blows everyone else away.
I will make that decision by the end of this post.

As for the kids' story of my cat,
I will aim to finish it this Friday night. No more delays.

My lack of articulation is killing me.
It's so hard to focus.
Even now, I keep thinking of what apps I can create.

I know... I know... so much bitching.
But hey, it's my motherfucking blog...
so if you don't like it,
kindly shave your head,
apply a generous amount of Vasoline,
find a great big fat cow (or goat),
and stick your head directly up its asshole.

Do it.
Now.

Anyway, I've decided.
I will create an app that will blow the competition right out of the water.
And add more capabilities to it, to expand beyond just Carpool.
Or maybe at the end of the development, I'll end up making a completely different app.

It's so tempting to try and come up with a simple app,
and hope that it will be successful.
But this is what I'd like to do.
This weekend, I will be testing the existing apps, learning from them.
And then it will be my turn.

Well enough of that

Stuttering

Week has not been going along well so far.
Not just peachy.
Even a little frustrating.

Where the hell am I?
The plan was to write something, anything, each night,
to improve on my English, not to mention articulation.
Am I even saying it correctly?
Are those two the same thing? Goddammit. I'm not even sure anymore.

Been a while since I've revised what little I've learned about Russian,
and the one or two new words I've learned since then is absolutely pathetic.

Oh yea, and I'm just starting a new routine today,
without getting enough sleep the night before (or the night before then).

My brain's cloudy, I can barely see the words I need to use even for this fucking post.

Work makes me feel  like a piece of driftwood,
floating down the river...

And I almost forgot to mention this.
Last night, she caught me looking at an old video posted on Dailymotion.
I was curious and bored, and had just had a conversation with Jill.

Of course, NATURALLY she had to come and take a look at it.
Before I even got a chance to view (or more importantly close it),
she saw what it was.

A naked chick. Well, two naked, Asian chicks.
And instead of just brushing it off,
I actually tried a number of excuses...
until I finally admitted.

Me. Admitting.
Sure, it was a little embarrassing. But hey, you just move on.

Why the fuck did I even try to justify it.
Here I was, thinking I was over shit like that.

It's time to re-learn the 77 Rules.

So yep. Stuttering is one hell of an understatement.

I could continue being frustrated,
and bitch and moan for as long as I want...

Or I could stop being a dumbass,
and make improvements.

Time to move forward.

Well enough of that