About 11.30pm on a Wednesday night,
and I'm waiting for the final 15 mins until the washing machine
is done with the bedsheets and pillow sheets.
Oh, and one tiny pillow.
Returned last Friday night,
and I was a complete mess,
barely able to walk, or eat anything...
And yep, pretty much coughed and sneezed and jizzed all over the place...
Ok maybe not that last one.
Ah yes,
an attempt at crude humour.
Talk about failing miserably.
Goddammit I really should write here more often.
Once again in the office,
I stumbled in my speech,
unable to find the proper words...
Makes me want to punch myself in the fucking face just thinking about it.
But beyond that,
I'm supposed to be happy with where I am in my career right now.
On paper,
I've advanced significantly.
Hell, if I retired now, compared to where my life was originally headed,
I could honestly say I fucking MADE IT.
Against the odds,
I made it.
And yet,
I'm not happy.
A part of me feels like a motherfucking selfish prick.
Earning as much as I do right now...
with the title on paper
(ok, ok so it's just Sales Associate, but it's still an improvement, so fuck you very much,
I should be ecstatic on a daily basis.
I thanked GOD (still do) that I got the job.
But the reality is,
I'm just cruising along at the mercy of the river,
unable to chart my own course.
Great. I stop mid-way to check on the washer,
and stop the cycle with 3 mins left.
And what does that goddamn piece of shit machine do?
Keeps the door locked.
AND won't resume the fucking cycle.
So I had to set a new one.
Motherfucker must be modeled after the way a typical Singaporean thinks and acts.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh well.
Might as well continue.
So far, I've only closed ONE deal.
That's it.
After what, 4 months? 5?
There is no CRM.
Their prices are fucking EXORBITANT.
And their internal processes are shit.
After so many months, I'm still waiting on a new laptop.
My boss is a nice guy.
And yea, I do respect him.
But right now,
I feel like he's just keeping me around for the sake of it.
If one day the CEO decides I'm a burden (and he wouldn't be wrong!),
I'm gone.
Doing random tasks.
Very little actual sales. I can almost feel my skills eroding.
I need to get out.
So I'm already looking for another gig.
But in the meantime,
every little task given to me,
I will give it my best shot.
Yep. It does indeed sound lame.
You know that I give a fuck about what you think right?
Yep. There you go.
Well enough of that.
