Under

Was up for hours coughing,
until I relented and took some cough syrup.
May have taken a little too much.

Now it's 11am,
and I'm still fucking drowsy.
I've heard of people being addicted to this shit.

What EXACTLY are they addicted to?
Feeling like crap?
It's like I just came a dozen times and am exhausted.
Except a) there's no naked chick next to me and b) I didn't come at all.

That's what taking cough syrup's like.
Puts you in the spot where you feel embarrassed,
humiliated,
exhausted.
Now why the fuck would anyone be addicted to THIS?

Dumbasses.

Well enough of that.

Punch to The Face

I'm rusty.

Been rusty for a while, now.
No longer quick on the draw. Not that I ever used to be THAT quick.
But still.

I struggle now, on a regular basis, to form complete sentences.
Even when I would like to reply
and know which tone I'd like to use,
the words linger behind,
just out of reach.

That asshole mocked me again in the office.
In the past, I would've been able to hit back.
Hard.

But in this condition,
man...
I'm practically a sitting duck.

I could just throw punches,
break a couple of bones.
Meh.
Temporary fix.

My mind's fucking cluttered.
All kinds of thoughts. Guilt.
Hell, I even feel guilty for not feeling ENOUGH guilt.
How much is enough, anyway?
Fucking dumbass.

Keep telling myself the next day or two will be the day I start my new routine.
Change will come.
How long has it been, now? 2 months? 4?
Goddammit.

Things will change tomorrow.
I'm sure of it.


Fuck you.

Well enough of that.